reading this will just frustrate you

[PirateBooty]

okay, so ive finally boken down and started my own reflection thread. thing is, ive never been one for blogging so its not going to be completely up to par with the likes of you all...

i was talking to (blank) about how i love all things annoying. take for example, family guy. most would lean towards stewie as their favorite being a completely well developed and amusing character, yet, i like peter more. peter is obnoxious, tends to go overboard and is completely crass. i love it! same with jim carrey as ace ventura. i love him as ace! he just doesnt know HOW to quit. spongebob, ren & stimpy, beavis and butthead, peewee herman just to fluff the list up a bit. (blank) says this explains my love for waffs....but he was just teasing, werent you (blank)...you were just poking fun at your favorite person....awww, i feel the love :love:

i wanted to vent a tad on being unchaste and giving into your loins desires...i hate how everytime im in the heat of the moment, all practicality goes out the window. i mean, where are my morals, my sense of judgement. the devil on my right shoulder keeps those things behind a great brick wall....but, where DOES my angel on the left shoulder go? stuck in traffic? loosing weight eating at subway? frickin a! anyway, i guess my point is...knowing before hand that my future actions more than likely will have negative repercussions (sp?) is even STILL no concern of mine if my female organs are going. youd think i was some horndog. im not! really...i can say no to my desires if im in control. (ya, guess thats where i go wrong....IF...)

a thought on traveling for a bit....
i loved being in other countries: experiencing other cultures, societies, ways of living...what i didnt love was how much everyone in the world hates americans, so it seems anyway. i was told by a few to say i was canadian when traveling if i wanted to be treated well. well...i did this in germany and it worked quite nicely. most people were standoffish until they "knew" i was canadian...then, when i later told them, actually, im american...they were shocked....surprised....astonished that i, an american, had actually became someone they would later talk to, visit museums with and even exchange email addresses with! {side note: i thought the whole claiming to be canadian thing was great for me, since it in fact worked out...but, now, in hindsight, i feel bad for misleading some of the people i met. anita brought up a great point about traveling (not a direct quote, but, youre a representative of your nation while traveling) and so this got me thinking about 1.) i hope i didnt offend any canadians in doing so - i would have hated to change the way travelers feel about canadians and 2.) i should have proudly traveled as an american...on a mission to spread some glimmer of hope that not ALL americans are shitty pieces of, errr, shit. that some americans, in fact, are wonderful people to be around. that they wish for the best throughout the world and are readily awaiting the moment they can imput all they can do to help make it a better place.}

see, this is what happens when youre a night owl. my minds turned to mush. i think i may try my luck with being a morning person.

ahh! jerry springers final thought (but not really cuz i hate the scumbag) which reminds me, i saw jerry springer: the opera while in london...i must say, its completely entertaining and i can see now why the rest of the world believes ALL AMERICANS are the way they are. okay, for my final thought: i need to develop some kind of system that will help me on my trek back to the top. for some time i had everything going for me. work, school, fitness, leisure, music....i was doing it all....and now...whatve i got. a slow internet connection and a pound of fudge. i need to somehow make it back up the hill...its going to be tough, but, once im up there, its smooth sailing. not to mention, ive gotta re-get into shape for my waffs cuz hes got wandering eyes for milla jovovich. grrrrr.

til next babble session,
toodles!

[PirateBooty]

after school the other day my 13 year old sister asked my mom, can we eat meat tonight? what my sister was insisting upon was a high protein meal. {recently shes been asking my mom for sandwhich meat and chees in a bag for lunch. WTF....shes 13!!} Anyhow, so for this MEAT DINNER we feasted upon korean bbq (took us about an hour to find a buffet place that she could eat her 13 year old hearts fill to. that is, assuming her arteries dont clog in the process. on the way to the restaurant i reminded my sister of how Dr Atkins DIED and that eating smaller, balanced meals, laying off the junkfood and more excersize is more beneficial to her than meat and cheese all the time. but, shes 13, so, she doesnt listen. okay, so on the way home after eating my sister exclaims how she ate way too much, is so full and feels like she needs to throw up. JOKINGLY i said, 'high five for bulimia!' and my sister acutally raised her hand in motion to give me five. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG HERE! i never felt like i was too fat growing up...thats why i continued getting fat! i mean, come on! shes in 8th grade! grrr....curse living in plastic los angeles! i guess with the growing popularity of young girls getting cosmetic surguries (ie, lindsey lohan and her new set) young girls feel they have a lot to live up to. my sister also has complexes about small fatty deposits on her leg that she wants to get removed...and thinks her nose is too big and needs rhinoplasty. fricken a. thats all i want to talk about for now.

i wish she would take a look around and see that everyones made differently and that shes beautiful the way she is. ive told her...dunno what else i can do. :confused:

[PirateBooty]

quick side note: i know there are a few of us who feel that if we really want something to happen, we can wish it into reality. i rented a few movies the other night at this blockbuster thats very close to where an old friend used to live. i thought to myself, wow, i havent heard from adam in years! i wonder what hes up to. well, tonight he instant messages me...he said it had been 3 years since we last spoke. three years! so weird. well, along with that, i also feel i have some sort of clairvoyance, to a degree, of course. i know when things will turn out bad, ive been known to predict earthquakes, just today i told my mom that my uncle was going to introduce her to a man - he did, i experience "dejavu" frequently...which i blame on this psychic ability to just know what peoples conversations are about or their inability to tell a story that is not predictable. its kind of eerie, but at the same time, i want to learn more about it...maybe how to control, guide, develope it??? i dunno.

okay, with that said, i was talking to adam just now and he and i were discussing our current situations. he mentioned i seemed very happy, but that i always seemed very happy (we met about 7 years ago.) i attributed most of my current happiness to having met the love of my life and finally being able to be myself 24/7. he asked me to clarify what i meant, and slightly confused i said, well, i just dont have to feel like its my duty to make everyone feel happy all of the time. that i have been able to think about myself and my sanity and my quality of life before carrying the weight of the worlds problems on my shoulders as i used to. actually, let me just post the conversation:

me: im not completely cold or shallow..i just feel theres so much for me to enjoy, that i dont need to waste my time with people who bring me down
adam: i dont think anyone does, i mean no point in wasting time with people like that. should just be out having fun ya know?
me: ya, but i used to tho...that was the problem...i would bear the weight of the world on my shoulders and not think twice
adam: its funny too because i remember when i was really depressed you were always the one that was so happy and getting me to feel better about myself
adam: like i remeber i told you i was going to kill myself at 30 and you were always talking me out of it, pointing out the brighter side and to be happy and what not
adam: i dunno you always seemed like you had control
me: uh oh...are you gonna be okay (im bringing up bad memories)??
adam: yah im gonna be fine
me: hehe, i dont have to worry right....youre not a ticking time bomb anymore, are you?
adam: hehe i dont think im gonna go off on someone
adam: im too in love with life to do something like that now
me: i remember that too. ya, sometimes i comtemplate that. how i used to be so helpful. i made a difference in lots of peoples lives...but, at the same time it was taking the life out of me. and i feel guilty....for wanting to enjoy my own life...especially when i hear testimonials like yours
adam: you think so? i usually find it fulfilling when i help someone
adam: hehe what was so bad about mine?
me: i feel so bad for being cold sometimes......
adam: well i havent seen you be cold yet so i wont judge
me: no, it wasnt bad, it just made me feel bad...like, i had a knack for making people feel good and now i dont really put much effort into doing so
me: well, its something for me to reflect upon i guess

hehe, long read, sorry, but ya...and that coming from a guy i havent talked to in 3 years and just tonight, for the first time in three years, he comes up with something that actually pushed me to think. so now what?

i know i have a way with helping outsiders come in. i know ive been given enough patience and compassion to last me three lifetimes over. i know i have changed peoples lives for the better. i know i feel better solving problems that arent my own.

for all these known truths must i suffer? must i not enjoy my life and all the people who've been put in it so that i can help console the spirits of people who havent got an ounce of life in them? im a giver, i know. i love to give and help people to grow.

ive been paired with a lover whos heart is as selfless as mine. there is a truth between us. we are both sent to make the world a better one to live in, but when? to who? and most importantly, by what means? have i carved against the grain a path in my life which i should not take? has my hesitation not been in vain? will my lack of motivation prove to be positive...a light being shone upon the route i should take.

the good of humanity. the good for a human. am i good enough for that?

this omniscience i do not posses keeps me searching...yearning to find the truths that rule my life.



reminds me of a song:
so good to see you once again. i thought you were hiding from me. you thought that i had run away. chaising a trail of smoke and reason.

[PirateBooty]

so its official...i've booked a flight to hawaii where i will be staying with the grandparents for three months (jan 4th- april 4th).

up side: get to see my grandparents and great grandmother and i get to use my board both which i havent seen in a year, i will have tons of time to get back into shape, i will be closer to australia in case i find a suitcase full of money and can fly there, there'll be loads of opportunities to take more great photos of the island, perhaps i will begin to learn japanese from my auntie kyoko, and even make some new friends while im wandering the beaches alone

down side: i will be detached from the continental us...island fever!, i will not have constant internet access, um....hmmmm....well, theres gotta be something else....hold on a sec....ah yes! oh wait, no, getting tanned is an upside, unless, well, theres the whole cancer thing :umm:

i called and spoke to my grandmother and she told me that just recently my greatgrandmother (whos 97) fell and broke her hip...in a walmart bathroom of all places! anyway, i suppose theres no lawsuit cuz people in hawaii just arent like us mainlanders. greatgranny is currently undergoing physical therapy, however, she still cant put any weight (standings outta the question) on it. apparently her insurance only covers a certain amount of surgery and will not pay to replace the hip so shes bedridden until her bones fuse together with the screws theyve placed therewithin. geez...i dont want to get old. i mean, i dont mind getting old, aging and such, its just the whole dependence on someone to care for you that really frightens me. im going to make it a point to raise really loving and devoted children :halo: anyway, so i think a lot of my time in hawaii will be spent caring for my greatgrandmother rather than all those lovely PLUS things i listed above. but thats okay. i always wished she'd stick around long enough for me to have a baby tho...im the oldest (great)&grandchild so its up to me to have 5 generations at one time. that would have been really really cool. too bad i wont have a bun in the oven anytime soon. (or will i....*searches for nearest sperm bank*)

oh! on a lighter, more fluffy note...speaking of sperm banks, i saw some classified ads looking for women 18-28 to donate their eggs for...get this...$6,500 a pop!! man, i am SO fricken tempted to do that crap. i mean, the only thing keeping me from doing it is knowing that there will be a kid out there who looks like me, has my mannerisms, probably enjoys similar activities....but whos to say theres not already someone out there like that! $6,500 could buy me a lot of happiness. the process isnt extremely invasive either. apparently its very similar to anual exams and they use a needle to extract your egg and youre done. man...i need to look into this more because $6,500, thats why!

im writing out christmas cards now too....its sad how many are going overseas. only one is going overseas to someone whos not in the military and thats my hunny bunnys. makes me so sad. all these young men and women spending this holiday season away from home in harsh environments with all the gatorade they can drink...i wonder if theyve got eggnog? mistletoe? ohh, that one could be dangerous.

alas, its fricking 4am again. i must be suffering from depression because ive been staying up all night and sleeping in too late everyday since ive been away from waffs. its really depressing how much i miss his touch.


i knew it couldnt have been that easy!!! if you wanna read about donating eggs: http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/donateegg/donateegg6.html

[PirateBooty]

Yours eyes smile at me
Even when mine are closed
And I'm in this bed alone silently
Holding pillows supposed to be you

Searching for words within me
That will keep you here
As I lay in this bed continually
Holding onto dreams you'd fit into

[PirateBooty]

since i got severe windburn (finally caught up from vancouver) i had to deal with it. tonight i formulated an oatmeal, pear and honey mask...you can check out the results below. completely yummy tasting, but, yuk looking!

uhhh, gotta go!!!

[PirateBooty]

Lots to say, dialup internet to say it through...

I guess I initially wanted to write about my mother and her tendency to annoy the crap outta me. Tonight: Chinese food. Everyone knows that when you go to a Chinese restaurant you expect the little grossnesses that come with feasting in Chinatown. For example, the classic fried fly in your rice, a family of scurrying roaches taking refuge into the kitchen, dirty silver and plate ware, and of course, the nasty nose picking chef who, naturally, is using his bare hands to cook. When one attempts to dine in one of the many lovely establishments in Chinatown, you do so with a clear head and in an oblivious state of mind. The same order is usually made, many times we eat out to fill a certain crave…so what’s the matter? Why is my mom, all of a sudden, getting freaked out by the funky soup spoon handles having grime embedded in them? Why is she worrying that the salt and pepper shakers are greasy? This is why we dine in Chinatown. This is what gives the food it's unique flavor. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tad, but really…is it so necessary to bring the establishments health standards up to the manager? Does she think they actually DON’T know they’re rolling around like pigs in a pen? Call me apathetic, but, I see no point in trying to change what is. In fact, most people who cant stand to sit and observe the full experience of Chinese dining order take-out! That’s probably why it was created…for the clean freaks. Not that I love filth…I just don’t expect cleanliness from afore mentioned institutions.

Upside to eating Chinese food…fortune cookies! Today I was so pleased with my fortune. The superstition is that if you read your fortune aloud, it will not come true. Typing it, on the other hand ;) “You are headed in the right direction. Trust your instincts.” This is by far the most wonderful news I could have received (yes, I take my fortunes for all they’re worth). I have begun working on, and have a rough idea of, my five year plan. I pretty much know exactly what I want the next five years of my life to look like. I just started putting it all down on paper yesterday, so it's a crazy concurrence that I would get a fortune as telling as the one I did. (Coincidence??? I think not!)

Christmas gifts: So my sister explained to me today that if I didn’t visit my dad and stepmother for Christmas that my gifts would be returned. I haven’t seen the two of them since before I left for Europe, which was early September. However, the only time I have heard from my dad since I've been back was when he told me that I had to pay a hospital bill since he had prematurely canceled my medical insurance! “What a lousy piece of crap,” I thought. He canceled it before I was graduated! How would I ever be able to afford something of that nature. Well, he didn’t handle it, the bills were left unpaid and I was notified by a crediting agency that I had an outstanding balance of $1200! Now, how in the world is PB, the unemployed world traveler extraordinaire, going to pay for this? Well, I haven’t. So, if you’ve any ideas…send them my way!!! I guess the point of that rant was that I will have to see my dad and his lovely wife (I mean it, she’s lovely) this Christmas…not because I want the presents, but, well, okay, I just want the presents….hahah. Kidding, I've just always wanted to say that. No, really, I’m going because I've already bought presents for the two of them that I had planned on giving them to “kill them with kindness.”

You see, nice people, such as myself, tend to use this technique to defend themselves often. Kill them with kindness. Let’s ponder upon those words. Someone’s being a complete ass…it hurts you…you are, as normal, super nice. However, now we can up the amp a little bit and make them feel like total a-holes for even putting us through such torment. Well, I would love to say that this technique will work on dad, but, well….he’s unaffected by any smidget of niceness. His harsh exterior is not a façade…oh how I wish it was…but, alas, it's not. Grumpy old man. *humph*

Ah yes, one more thing before I bid you farewell (for now.) I have jury duty all next week. That’s right kids, jury duty Christmas week. The law must loooooove me. :kill: "THE LAW"

[PirateBooty]

So today was my first day EVER serving as a juror – well, if you can call what I did serving. I woke up at the crack of dawn to be at the Supreme Court in Downtown LA at 7:30 this morning. Of course these things take place during normal business hours and normal business traffic is present, but that’s all aside from the point. I am there with five minutes to spare before we were scheduled to begin. Everyone was already there, I guess “these people” (the other potential jurors) think that city workers actually perform promptly with these matters. Anyhow, I waited for about fifteen minutes before someone came out and announced the first set of instructions. Now, the instructions were simple: Jurors who received the 3 fold mailer line up to the right. Jurors who received the pink form, line up to the left. Why did it take nearly 10 minutes to get these people lined up??? Okay, so, there were about 300 people to instruct, all who spoke English, but my goodness!

Okay, so as we enter the Juror Assembly Room, we are given 3 information forms and an empty name badge holder. Okay, so, I speed read through my pamphlets (this is the first time I have actually been available to serve on a jury and I am just really excited about it…plus my horoscope yesterday said “Usually, you are the one who is usually light on your feet and quick with your wit, so it may be out of character to slow down and take things seriously. Now, however, you can gain recognition for your ability to do just this. You may even feel heavy, like your feet are stuck in cement. Don't panic. Your freedom of motion will surely return in a few days. In the meantime, take responsibility for your part of the deal.” So I KNEW I had to serve my jury duty) and so I fill out the back portion of my 3 fold mailer (name, phone, employment info and emergency contact) and I rip out my name tag from the perforated corner – simple enough, right? Nope, of course not! It takes about 45 minutes to explain how to fill these forms out. I have no clue how or why some of these people have survived in this city for so long. Okay, well, we now have to place the remainder of our forms in trays according to the hours of work we are being paid for by our employer 0, 1-5, 10-15, and 20+…I can understand how this would take longer. I mean, you have a room of 300+ people and you’re asking them to leave their seats to place their forms on one table in front of the room…this is where I start complaining about city workers. I think if our system wasn’t so inefficient, which it really, really, really is, maybe California wouldn’t be in such a great debt. I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but, I’ve got to say, my experience with city, county, and government workers has not been impressive. For a while I thought, wow, it would be great to have their jobs…never having to do any real work, talking to people like you know what you’re saying, incredible job security since it’s impossible for outsiders to land a job on the inside without knowing someone….etc. Ridiculous. Okay, so after all that business it was now 9:45am. We are given until 10:15 to take a break. Half hour break when all we’ve been doing is sitting??? Can we skip the break and go home early? Nope…course not! So I get back at 10:15: they’re assigning courtrooms to prospective jurors. They call a list of about 15 names and are sent to the 9th floor. The 9th floor is where I wanted to be: high profile and sensitive cases. An extra set of security measures, famous names, declining to interview, writing a book about it later….yes….I wanted one of the 9th floor cases. Well, my name wasn’t one of the 15. Half an hour later they called another list of names, mine included, and we were sent to the 15th floor where such cases as ‘two instances of robberies in a trailer park’ are heard. I can’t reveal to you all what my case was about, though. ;)

Welp, the crappy part about my assignment was, only 12 jurors are needed and I’m in a pool of 80! Out of the 80 I’m #73! Juror #73 – they won’t even get to my number before they pick their 12. I’m so depressed. They send us to lunch at 12. At 1:30pm I arrived back as ordered and sat….and sat…and sat on the concrete benches…apparently something was wrong inside the courtroom. They continued to update the 80 jurors outside the courtroom that they would be with us shortly. Well, at 2:40pm we finally get called into the courtroom and are asked to line up in number order, just like kindergarten! So, I’m sitting in my last row seat and the judge introduces himself, the lawyers and the defendant and explains how important it is to believe that the defendant, who is sitting in the room with us, is innocent until we prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, otherwise. Okay, so, juror #1. All these questions are asked…lots of detail drawn out about each persons experience with the law, crime and police officers….at juror #18, it is now after 4pm. We were told that our day ended between 4 and 5. The judge pointed this out and asked if there were any potential jurors in the group that had some hardship and could not attend this jury duty. Reasons such as: I’m a student and I work and I cannot pay my bills unless I work over my breaks; I will loose my PhD scholarship if I do not finish my thesis that I am working on this week; I am a sole caregiver for my mother/grandparent/handicapped child; I am a single parent with children not of school age at home; (and my favorite) I have a vacation planned, all get excused. What doesn’t work is, I am scheduled to have surgery, I am hearing impaired and may not hear all the evidence, year end reports are due and I am the only employee not on vacation, ALL DON’T WORK. Imagine that! It’s beautiful….no its not. It’s sad. It seems as if the people with the greatest need in the crowd got the shortest end of the stick.

The only upside to the day was our compensation. Although Jurors are no longer paid for their first day of duty, the 2nd and subsequent days are paid $15 plus $0.37 per mile of travel. I lived like five miles from the courthouse so that doesn’t do me much good. So I inquired about the metro program they offered during orientation. After the judge excused us from the court today (even though I have to be there at 10am tomorrow) I went down to the office that handles the metro stuff and they issued me a week pass for the metro! So, even if tomorrow I am sent home, I have a free metro card. Yay! Oh, another great thing is my juror badge allows me into the local museums in downtown, like moca, for free! Very exciting. Anywhoooooo…..

Extreme headache…major body pains...desperately missing my waffles

[PirateBooty]

One may never understand the love of a mother until one has lost a child of their own. Today, Treasure "Trey" Booty died. My black, white and gold Calico Ryukin was only four years old. For months now he had been bobbing on his side in the tank, tonight, regardless of my prayers, nursing and hope, I found Trey without breath, without life in his eyes, his tail fins trapped in the filter.

I named Trey, Treasure since a few of his scales on his sides where iridescent and reminded me of jewels. Trey seemed more fitting for him since he had an awesome black mohawk for a dorsal fin. Trey was always a very fun, easy going and loving pet. Getting to know Trey was easier than I had ever imagined a relationship with a fish would be like. I bought him when he was just a few months old. The pet store guy said Trey’s breed of fish lived a couple of years. I had many precious moments to look forward to. Very early on in Trey’s childhood, he would entertain me with his acrobatics. Trey used to love swimming through hoops (my bracelets) under water. He was always very inquisitive, attentive and intelligent so he knew that two taps towards the top of the tank meant feeding time and several taps in the middle meant come and boast your beautiful self before me. As time progressed, Trey became less active. This is when I introduced BooBoo to the tank. BooBoo is a Black Moor Goldfish…BooBoo loved to follow Trey around the tank (hence the name; Yogi’s sidekick.) Since Trey’s death earlier this evening, BooBoo has already become accustomed to his growth in living space. BooBoo has not mourned for Trey’s death and shows no solace towards me.

If you can bear to view an open casket, below is a picture of my beloved.

[PirateBooty]

If you can bear to view an open casket, below is a picture of my beloved.
What a freak...I think I get a little too morbid when my pets die in the middle of the night. Well, Trey is buried in the back yard next to Hops (my frog who died several years ago.)

No more jury duty. I went to court the second day...we were supposed to be there promptly at 10:30am. There were several jurors missing and therefore held up the entire hearing. We were finally let into the courtroom just before noon only to be told by the judge "The case has been resolved, you are now all free of your jury service. Enjoy your holidays." WHAT?!?!?!? BUT, BUT!!! I really WANTED to serve jury duty. I wanted to be a part of the system. I wanted to see what really happens...none of this CSI, Law and Order, Reno 911 stuff!!! I wanted to see how the law worked from the inside. I wanted to condem this guy, who was accused of robbing two trailer homes, to death!!!! WHY WHY WHY!!! Why was the case closed! NOOOOOO!!!! Anyway, I've got all this free time on my hands again. Well, on the upside, I've been making lots of use of my free metro pass. We got to keep it even though my service is done. I am really excited about not having to drive every fricken where.

Downside, my mother and brother are 'KILLING ME SMALLS'! It is fricken annoying the heck outta me because, well, because at times, I hate them! I just want to be left alone, well, away from them. I want my own place. I want my own rules. I wanna grow up! I loved being in school. In hindsight, it was a false illusion of independence, but, I felt independent. I felt like I was on my own, making my own rules. To a certain degree I was. The only physical/economical tie I had to my family was my health insurance which wasn't a big deal at the time because I had the student health clinic. Now, living at home again, obeys mom's rules, eating mom's cooking...I hate my life. I have no insurance because I'm no longer a student, and, just great, now I get sick...My parents are divorced so my mom agrees with me that my dad's a fucker and my dad fully supports that my mother's insane...so that is settled, but, neither of them feel that I am where I should be. Where were they when they were my age??? Well, my dad was in Japan. He served in the marines for over five years. He actually met my mom while serving in Alabama and told her to move to California and wait for him. My mom is two years older than my dad, so, I guess when she was my age, she was waitressing. So, we've got two high school diploma bearing early 20 something year olds.....ones in the military the others a waitress. Now, seriously, I don't think I've done half bad. I've got a bachelors degree with all kinds of nifty notability stuffs, loads of work experience, traveling experience and soon I will have international teaching experience. I don't get it! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG!

I am most stressed about this because my brother has consistently had problems with drugs, alcohol, THE LAW, and barely finished high school. He's had every luxury awarded to him: free rent, free food, free carS (i literally put my sweat and blood into my first car-took me over a year to get it running...working on it ALONE), he was even offered two full-ride scholarships to various art institutions in CA. I can't stand that I took care of MYSELF for 5 years in school and he hasn't had to take care of himself ONCE. This wouldn't bother me if everything was smooth at home. NOOOOO....my mom proposing we pay her monthly rent. This is fine. Really, it is. She's unemployed, needs help with bills, fine. But don't say that I'm using you...don't dare say that I am unappreciative. I have never let my family down. Never. I hate that they feel so strongly about making my life a living hell because what this translates into my mind is: ADIOS. If they aren't offering some positive thing to my life (love, support, encouragement, refuge) then, why do I need them?

My horoscope today said that I would have lots of moody things going on. We will see if this is a phase, but, I highly doubt it. I miss Waffles so much and I can't wait to start my life with him. Honey, you and I are going to be such a great pair. I know when God blesses us with children, we will be the greatest parents that ever were (well, along with all the Quiller mommies and daddies.) I know this is another thing that is worrying me. My love is suffering. I mean, he's okay, but, he (like me) is feeling distressed. Everything will turn out the way it is supposed to and everyone will be better people because of it.

advice for getting through all of this?? ANYONE???

[PirateBooty]

its christmas eve (technically) and im here in the OC BITCH with my best friend melissa. we've been to a dozen (its seems) bars out here but finally settled at sharkees. now, this place is the shizzle for rizzle cuz A) its by the beach 2) its gotta huge mix of peeps, and Exibit X) its not too far froom home so we can all get wasted. tonight was especially crazy. my best friend was digging hte guys in line behind us, they were from argentina...which, for those of you that are unaware equals SUPER HOT. so, like i would do in any situation, i become extra flirty with HER to attract THEM. and, well, it works. she gets the guys talking to her....since she smokes they can share a cigarette conversation while in line. very nice. so, once inside, (i think i had somewhere between 3 and a million vodka sodas...) this tall black dude asks me to dance....i tell him, well, i have a boyfriend, but if you wanna just dance, then okay! he actually stopped and thought about it then finally agreed.. LOL! anyway, he danced like a white guy (no offense, but, you know what i mean!) then allofasudden he DOES THE SPLITS!!! so silly. anyway, i thought that was the coolest thing since sliced bread. anyway, i promised him one song and we danced to three. time flies when youre drunk. anyway, this one tall white dude tried grabbing my elbow and i kinda just shrugged it off. later, after we all got booted from the bar after last call, we walk to the after hours place across the street....well, the tall white dude was there. it was funny cuz i didnt recognize him since he was wearing a wreath on his head. anyway, he told me i was the most beautiful woman i had ever seen and i said, awww, youre just saying that cuz youre drunk. ahah, hes like, nah, i saw you earlier and i thought, wow, shes really beautiful....hahahahha! i thought this was so cool. anyway, i didnt show it and i just played it off like i was too cool for school! anyway, even after THAT, this other guy with shaggy blonde hair comes up to me, introduces himself as i dunno, i forgot, and hes such a smooth talker....man, i wish i was a guy sometimes so i can use those bomb ass lines. he told me, woah, this sounds like a conversation we need to have with wine on a couch. (hahahahahah, wow....hahah) anyway, we kept talking, ended up being he was a big traveler but now does surveilance (sp?) for the police dept. he was a cool guy, but, melissa came to the rescue and said that my boyfriend was calling my cell phone (he wasnt, but, its nice to think that im loved...hahah) anyway, i just thought id get this story out so that i could remember my evening. im sure i will have lots to revise tomorrow.

merry christmas for all you who celebrate...otherwise, enjoy the holidays you have been/will be celebrating.


night fuckers....and, um, i guess i should brush my teeth before i pass out. ya. night

[PirateBooty]

wow...what a reflection to be left for all to be reminded of me, huh! welp, lets see...

rearranged the room...i think i will sleep better this way. i was having a lotta weird dreams lately.

ive gotta annoyance to speak about: school administration. while waffs was still with me in sunny so cal (haha, not now!) he went with me to my alma mater to pick up my diploma which had been ready for 2 days! i was so excited about it. i had parked in a 30 minute spot so my hunny bunny went to go move the car - i was only gonna be a minute picking it up...so i thought! when i got there, the lady at the desk checked the business bin (where mine would have been) it wasnt there so, she decided that instead of looking at a list to see if my name was on it, shed look thru the science, engineering, art, architecture, ethnic and womens studies, p.e., underwater basket weaving, electric underwater basket weaving and finally, business again (in case she missed it the first time). she walked back over to me and told me, when did you say you graduated again? i repeated myself and she said, well, looks like you didnt get one printed, let me have your student id number, we will look it up. (good lord....) so she did, and, whaddaya know! my graduation had been deffered! i said, this cant be! ive been here for 5 years! theres no way i missed something. i was so careful (towards the end, anyway)! she said that i would have to speak to an evaluator and that the wait would be fairly long. i had a seat. (btw, waffs is still with my car and i cant leave the office because what if they call! i will never get this settled!) so finally, ms sara stevenson, a very round, stern looking black woman calls me to the back. i follow. i sit down and the first thing she says is, did you finish all of your minors? at this point, i would have given up my minors for that piece of paper, but, very calmly i said, yes, theyre finished, everythings finished. she looks into it. ah hah! ART, area 3B. Did you not take an art class? (for those of you who know me well, which is like, none of you i suppose, i was in college for the better part of 5 years because i couldnt stand NOT taking fun classes like photography, art, swimming, horseback riding, yoga, photoshop, the history of play and games.....the list goes on) no, no im sure i took an art class. ms stevenson said, well, lets take a look here, we're changing over to a new system so it may just be a glitch. okay, fine, glitches happen - especially to me - especially at the most inconvenient times (see this (http://www.enchantedquill.net/showthread.php?t=1032&highlight=murphy%27s) for reason why) anyhow, she finds the missing class, looks through my hefty list of classes ive completed and decides that among all the bs classes ive taken, history and appreciation of the photographic image best suites what i need. whatever, fine. but, hahaha, thats not all folks! no, it wont post. apparently when i started there this class was not in existance and therefore the computer will not allow it to complete my GE requirements. fantastic. well, nice round ol ms stevenson did something where, magically, just cuz she wanted it to, the new program accepted it! phew, great! now i can go! *buzzer sound* wrong! i need to wait and see if it will post. i explained to her that i was in the 30 minute parking (i had already been there for an hour) and that i needed to go soon. she told me to call back in two days, that everything should be adjusted by then. i asked about my diploma. she explained that since mine was not ordered, it will be ordered with the fall graduates.

now, for the reason i gave you all that background info: i called in two days...left a message. i called the following week, left a message. i called the next day and left a message. i emailed that night, no response. tonight i emailed again...tonight, ms stevenson knows im pissed...tonight i received an email...extended absence message. :dozey: if i dont get my grubby little paws on my f*cking diploma by next thursday, i will not get the teaching job in japan! i thought leaving the school would solve all my problems, but they still find ways to screw me over...

:kill: cal poly


so now, i feel sorta like this: :mad: :confused: :cry: :furious: :thdown:

[PirateBooty]

this saturday im flying to hawaii. this is a :thup: because i will, well, be in hawaii, however, its gonna be a :thdown: because i will be there for 3 months....oh wait, thats a :thup: haha. well, its not all fun n games....great grandmas going thru a bunch of bad stuff what with her new broken hip and all....stupid walmart giving a poor ol lady a hard time....grr! i feel like boycotting, but all that will do is keep me from their everyday low prices. (which, btw, may not be so for much longer what with china nearly gaining a monopolistic position in overseas manufacturing) anyhow, im saddened nonetheless. so thats that. jan-early april: hawaii

rest of april-end of may: some odd job to make enough cash to pay for a ticket to japan since i have $38 to my name at the moment....yes, thirty eight.

end of may: visit the east coast for dragonfly's wedding which waffs will be the Mister of Honor

june05-06: teaching english in japan with some south asian/pacific rim traveling in there somewhere

june - augustish: visit oz

augustish - ~shrug~: possibly move to vancouver, except.....when i read this, the thought frightened me:


i went to the grocery store. they sell wine! and beer! until 1AM! at the grocery store! sorry. this blows my canadian mind. in case you weren't aware, in canada, you can only buy alcohol at liscenced liquor stores, and in BC, they are all government owned, and most close at 9PM. so, the whole liquor-in-food-stores thing is pretty wild.
i dunno if i can live in a place that doesnt allow me to get drunk without proper planning...sometimes my need for intoxication comes out of nowhere, 20 minutes til 2am....not good....not good at all. i couldnt imagine an alcoholic Vegas native moving to Canada....ever. haha. you can drink in vegas 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. not to mention have sex with a prostitute whos been governmentally mandated to have regular checkups....what an awfully beautiful thing (or, is it just awful....meh)

night for now..more thoughts to come

[PirateBooty]

for my teaching job i needed to have two letters of recommendation. i figured i would ask my international biz professor/advisor and one of my old bosses from when i was a reading tutor (perfect fits, i thought. i mean, i will be teaching english internationally...so, ya!)

here is the letter i got from my old boss, bob:

To whom it may concern:

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Pirate Booty is how much she loves God. Boy does she love God. As a daily chuch-goer and former altar boy, I have a true appreciation for people who love God as much as PB loves God.

Not only does she teach the students way to improve their English, she also shows them ways to improve their chances of finding salvation for their souls, preventing them from finding a grim and fiery eternity in the clutches of Satan, who, by the way, from what I hear, is a Samurai.

I understand that in Japan there are many pagans and such damnable structure they call "pagodas." The so-called "Zen Buddhists" and other heathens PB is likely to work with will benefit greatly from her great evangelical skill and ability to teach students without a lick of English ability to recite the whole of the book of Revelations without stopping, even for a drink of water.

She is also a talented exorcist, and seeing as how your culture inexplicably existed before Christianity, her skills in this arena will indubitably come in handy.


In God's name I pray, Amen.

Bob M.
Spiritual Advisor, College Bible Reading Program


So, after reading the letter he had all break to work on, I thanked him, yet, didn't know whether to laugh or start freaking out since, well, the interview is this friday! I nervously laughed and Bob asked if i liked it and if there was anything in there i would change. i looked at him in amazement and said, is this seriously my letter? (i mean, i do love God...but....hahah, WOW...) bob laughed and handed me the real letter of rec. PHEW!

his real recommendation was fantastic. completely eloquent and full of lies about how great i am. well, i think theyre lies, but the professors letter seemed to reflect the same lies - maybe they copied each others homework. *shrug*

more drama to follow....toodles!

[PirateBooty]

i cant help but have an upset stomach and nerves in knotts! i dont want to believe it, but my intuition is never wrong...i want to ask why, but, the answer's so clear.

i'll just have to get used to saying, i told you so, i told you so....jen, i told you so.

[PirateBooty]

this ones from "an american tale" performed by linda ronstadt and james ingram:

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

[PirateBooty]

i will edit this in a bit:

so im getting free internet. its quite nice because i use AO-Hell and my family is not here in hawaii with me, so, they sometimes are online when i want to be online. the free internet part comes from...well, i dunno where its coming from. someones wireless network! hoorah for brilliant technology and not-so-brite users of said technology. anyway, yes, my mac has wireless capabilities and so im set. its a rather strong signal too, maybe the next door neighbors. meh...doesnt matter. a gift from God, i say!


im about to call the waffle man. its quite funny cuz, ive been finding all these waffle related articles in newpapers and magazines lately. its something to ponder for me, anyway.

i decided to run to the retirement home my great grandma is in. i was really confused as to why i did this - only after my great grandma told me that she didnt want me to hug her cuz i was sweaty and stinky. well then...no more 2 mile treks to see her! sheesh! old people get weird...like, they think everyones out to get them. she swore tonight that the nurse (who i watched admisiter 2 pills to) didnt give her the sleeping pill she needs to rest. 20 mins later she was knocked out.

welp, phone time!

[PirateBooty]

Peter Nguyen
Mr. Farlow
6-01-2000
Honors English


Biography: Walt Whitman

I chose Walt Whitman for my biography report because Mr. Farlow said that if I wasn't going to take this class seriously and pick a real poet I might as well not come to class anymore. Walt Whitman was an awful child molester who was born in ancient Hong Kong. He is over 3,000 years old and remembers the names of all the forgotten Gods.

Walt Whitman is 90 stories tall, and his adventures are legendary. With his blue Ox, Emily Dickenson, Walt Whitman traveled across young America and helped the nation grow into the angry powerhouse it is today. He dropped his mighty axe, forming the Grand Canyon, the apple cores he would spit from his mighty mouth planted apple trees all across the country, and the stomp of his mighty boot caused the stock market to crash. He and his friend, Huck Finn, traveled down the Mississippi river and freed the slaves. Walt Whitman believed that the only good Chinaman was a dead Chinaman so he went to Tiananmen Square and gave them all candy. Except instead of candy he killed them.

Walt Whitman might seem like a real cool guy but in reality he's a whiny a** pu**y. His Livejournal, which he doesn't think anyone knows aboutis full of whiny goth poetry. His Current Mood is always "Apathetic" and his music is always some obscure punk band that no one has ever heard of. Some people who pretended to be his friend so they could get access to his "friends only" posts grabbed some of his poetry and made a book from them, and called it "Ode to Faggotry." When they found out other goth kids would actually read it, they changed the name to "Leaves of Grass" and it sold like gothcakes. Walt Whitman to this day doesn't know they're selling his poems and making a fortune off him. They still don't invite him to any parties though, because no one likes him.

Walt Whitman died a lonely man in Walt Disney Land. He was on the gondola ride, and he fell out because he wasn't fastened properly to the restraint. Thanks to his dumb a**, now none of us can ride it anymore. Thanks a lot Walt Whitman.



This is a real (?) essay a co-worker of mine found on the net. In red ink at the bottom of the paper, the words "Peter, please see me" are written.

[PirateBooty]

its so strange how people come in and out of our lives for reasons. the strangest part of this, however, is when you've completely assured yourself that the person is gone for good...and they show up once again. not to disrupt, not to indulge, not even for something a little more selfish. they just do. they are.

whether or not ive ever wanted to speak to this person, R, is beside the point. R was someone who brought out things which were buried deep within me. things meant to be left alone. things that, once resurrected, i did not fear after all. i owe a lot to R for revealing such greatnesses, however, it hurts to have R back in my life. what was once a beautiful thing has long since passed. R nor i are not the same people we once were yet, our similar cravings still show their faces in our lives. its amazing how completely honest i am with a person who bares all.

i thrive on sharing my story. if i can prove to be a positive influence, i proceed whole-heartedly. i miss R. ive miss R so often that ive become numb to how R once made me feel. the interaction we had now plays in my mind as a storybook my mother might have read to me when i was a child. relationships with old souls are like that. no matter how recent and quickly they may have occurred, the wisdom of it all stays with you forever, despite the brevity.

~~~~~~~

im glad God sent me my guardian angel to help me when im down(amongst a long list of reasons). but...i wish my honey and i were together. distance does make the heart grow fonder, but it also makes the arms colder and the eyes rather wet. :cry:

[PirateBooty]

seems like no matter how much i love this fricken island, pele (the goddess of the volcano) seems to push me over and make me fall over some lava rock whenever possible.

i admit to being a slightly clumsy girl, yes, but...this is rediculous!

anyway, got some good shots of some killer waves. some local boys were out surfing thru crystal blue barrels and it was amazing. took some effort to climb alongside the cove where i got the right angles, but, glad i did.


ive been dedicated to running everyday and more recently twice a day (its beautiful not having to work or go to school) but since this new injury to my foot...well, looks like im gonna have a nice weekend in. :dozey:

[PirateBooty]

this is my sisters dog baxter...
she got him at the pound many years ago and i was just thinking about how i.............gave him a mohawk!!!

[PirateBooty]

YESSSSS!! so, got my acceptance letter and, well, guess im off to japan in june! ive gotta get all my paperwork stuff together to get approved for a visa and then...well, then its up to the gods that deal with this kinda stuff.

i really hope i get to go over early june. if not, i wont have vacation time until january which means, unfortunately, that i wont get to spend my christmas with the ones i love...i want to be able to go to sydney in time for my honeys bday, stay for xmas and leave just after new years. that would be ideal! however, if i do go early june...i will miss my sisters 8th grade graduation (which she will be pissed about since ive missed every other big event in her life).

anyway, if i dont get sent over til late june or *gasp* even july, then, well, well, w-e-l-l, i guess i just dont know what will happen. either way, it will be a bad situation.

hmph......*wanders off to find a good japanese health insurance plan*

[PirateBooty]

-insect repellent wanted: this rooms full of ants!
-i feel weird wearing waffs panties
-result of being called 'so white': ive gotta nice golden tan
-the fan is drying my eyes out and i dont wear contacts!
-i need to make a dental appt before i leave cuz i wont be seen for a year
-i have to send in for my replacement passport
-caramello koala's are so good, even if cracked and oozing
-lyrics are hard to understand on demo tracks
-forgot my pubic hair was curly...hasnt been this long in some time
-elf is such a great movie "thats shocking!"
-waffs full name is so fricken long
-smilies with teeth (ala yahoo messenger) are just scarey
-blueberries and coolwhip are so fricken delicious
-i killed yet another centipede today! *chills*


i forgot what i was gonna type and that was the whole point to this rant. dammit. :grumbles:

[PirateBooty]

so, i partially know why im unhealthy. i dont sleep enough these days. perhaps ive got a jillion things running through my mind. perhaps one thing is running through my mind making everything around me, unsettling.

perhaps...perhaps ive captured the image of two baby humbacks playing in the pacific.

[PirateBooty]

so tonight was supposed to be a night of early sleep because tomorrow i must run a million errands for the grandparents before the start of the day (mind you, they're having breakfast at 530am!) [which, i've learned, is a rather late breakfast to some of us, ie, james and the like] anyhow, lots to do, but, well...im feeling bummed. well, i was.

id like to thank the two who commented on my last post. it was like a tremendously warm hug for me. i really have felt out of place lately which is so strange for me. im not sure where ive been feeling out of place from either. i dont know if this is normal...

explanation: i love the big island. i love it more than any place ive ever visited. whenever here, im completely at peace with myself and the world which surrounds me, but not lately. recently my eyes have been opened to some rather harsh realities...some of public knowledge while others are of a personal nature. either way, the rose glasses ive been viewing the world and my life through have been removed. ive had a change of heart. a change of mind. id like to make a decision on my life path. up until now, i had fantastic ideas about where i thought my life would lead and how i would go about getting there - ive realized my destinations were very selfserving. nothing i wished for my life would have ever made a difference in the world or, more simply, in the lives of others. my existence would have simply been to procreate while enjoying aging.

ive developed an appetite for knowledge, a thirst for change. this world cannot continue on the downward spiral it is set on. i know all these revelations are all fine and dandy, but really, was i that presumptuous as to not notice that perhaps even someone like myself can be used as a tool for change? im not sure if its an american societal thing, or just a part of growing up in poverty where one must fend for themselves, but, either way, ive got a mind to know the difference now. i fear that many people will not come to this realization. every little bit helps, right? thats what is always said...so, even if i dont make a dent, or even a scratch in the direction humanity needs to take, its for the greater good, right? i mean, thats assuming all people do at least a little. i mean, its kinda like those buddahs you see in chinatowns across the world. the huuuuge bronze statue of buddah...his belly shiney as can be, yet, the rest of him is tarnished green. people barely rub his tummy, yet, theres an obvious difference where action has been taken because SO MANY have rubbed the spot.

okay, its getting late. im talking of inanimate objects as metephors for my sudden realizations.

night.

and thanks again you two.

[PirateBooty]

i think careerbuilder put it best by having all the bosses be a buncha monkies! but here are some of my favorite lines from other commercials:

pepsi: i didn't know pdiddy drove a diet pepsi truck

emerald nuts: honey, if you eat a emerald nut, unicorns will disappear forever

cadillac: rachelle, its okay. just, take your mother's car.

mcdonalds: (part1)its not everyday that you find a frenchfry that looks exactly like abraham lincoln.
(part2) man:can i get a couple of those abraham lincoln fries? manager:we can give you some fries in the shape of a stick

degree: stay put marshall - do you wanna get kidnapped?

ameriquest: don't judget too quickly; we won't either

and then theres budlight: (1)(as pilot jumps out of plane) see ya dude!
(2)i gotta work on my fantasies
(3)guy1: sharon? guy2: ya, she sharin' alright
(4)(to the donkey) now look what youve started
(5)aye aye aye, ju don hear da lady, my fren? ju don wanna go der, papi

[PirateBooty]

There are only two things in life to worry about: Whether you are well or whether you are sick.

If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about: Whether you are going to get well or whether you are going to die.

If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you die, there are only two things to worry about: Whether you are going to go to heaven or whether you are going to go to hell.

If you go to heaven, then you have nothing to worry about.

But if you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends, that you won't have time to worry!

So, Why Worry?

Be Happy :D

[PirateBooty]

if you dont worry about the things you cherish, they may disappear.

a general disregard for keeping your posessions intact can leave you lost and without.

worry conveys that you care and that youre concerned.

currently, my mood is: worrisome.

when it comes to mosquitos you should only worry about the females...the males dont bite.

:umm:

[PirateBooty]

its been more than a week and all i can come up with is:

time is passing me by way too quickly. ive been in hawaii for six weeks and have accomplished next to nothing. true, my sole purpose for being here was to help my grandma out (which ive been doing) but, i just feel like i could have accomplished more elsewhere. i feel like my services are needed somewhere more beneficial.
I miss my baby so much...its truly very hard to go from kissing his beautiful face every morning, to watching a shoddy webcam image every night. it is hard for the both of us and there are some factors that make it harder, as well. people who claim to be full of love and joy and happiness are really filled with hatred about their own lives and take that frustration out on things they shouldnt. my baby has the weight of the world on his shoulders and some people are just greedy enough to keep it going. its frustrating to me and i cannot tolerate people who try to sabbotage what ive been blessed with.

:kill: ykwya

[PirateBooty]

so ive realized a lot. ive realized why people spread themselves too thin. i realized why jealousy festers in a partner. i realize how even though all your thoughts are targeted on someone specific, others come to mind. i have even realized why giving from the heart - not expecting to get in return - still makes you sad you didnt recieve.

----------------

for me, life is about the experiences you have in the relationships you develop. people ive met and sights ive taken in have impacted my life somehow. a wink from a surfer boosts my ego; the companionship of a saviour in europe extended my faith and hope; the perfect shot of a cherry blossom connected me to mother earth; showing up for arts and crafts fulfilled a desire to find the perfect gift.

----------------

in the past...i used to make decisions i never thought id regret. but what is regret, really. do i actually regret who i am today? i dont think i do. if i think about it long enough, maybe any wrongdoings ive done were tests i failed. tests from who...and why? i believe that i am special. i believe that i am connected. i believe that i can make a difference...but why...and for who? is anything i do going to truly impact the future lives of people? i would hope not. in actuality, i would hate to hold that burden. i live life for me. i partake to understand who i am...who i want and dont want to be. the funny parts of being me are that i continue to make mistakes, purposefully. i continue to question my existence, repeatedly. i continue to doubt and rest assured with my decisions, gainfully.

----------------

why then, must there be time for change? why do things have to happen like they always have? why cant i go on living life without consequence? why do i follow rules? why am i in love? why has love led me to hate?

why is "why?" the hardest question of all? well..."why not?" is my rebuttle. WHY NOT, is reason and answer enough.

[PirateBooty]

so im flying to oahu next week. this is really exciting because the island im currently on, hawaii, is very boring at best. i mean ya sure, there are pristine beaches, miles upon miles of hiking trails, lots of sun, and truly happy cows, but seriously, how much of that am i forced to endure. oahu, home to the capital of honolulu and the infamous waikiki beach, has a bustling social scene; lots of night clubs, tons of shopping, and speedo-clad european model tourists. :blush: in fact, last time i was in oahu, two swiss-german guys took me back to thei.....:umm: nevermind.

this trip, im lucky to have my pal who's from the big island take me on a 3 day trek! with his adventurers club, we'll be hiking round the island, up and down gulches, camping in bays, sneaking behind waterfalls and checking out the remains of ko'olau - a volcano millions of years old that, after a landslide, created a bay from its sunken crater.

in addition, i will go sailing and, quite possibly, partake in a proper english high tea! im hoping to squeeze in some massage time somewhere in there, too! prices on the big island are rediculous!

so more excitement surrounds the details of my trip. im meeting some of gregs friends who are my age! (yay! no way old or too young people to converse with - note: im staying with my grandparents, therefore, everyone i talk to is a senior citizen or their great grandchildren.) the girls in oahu are a bit crazy so im gonna have to either give into my wild side, or remember that im not a single girl and be on my best behavior. heh...im young...wonder what im gonna choose! (its okay honey, i still :love: you)

ive been thinking a lot...A LOT, a lot, actually. i think my romanticism is coming back, too. i used to be completely romantic but gave up on a lot of it because i was jadded by fricken retarded ex's. but theres still reason to believe. *sigh* i wish waffs and i werent so far apart. it really makes me angry, actually. not that im supposed to be in a relationship at all, actually. japan is just around the corner and that will have me tied up for a year! guess its fitting tho since waffs will be in his grad program. the poor thing cant spend any time away from school...guess those aussies take education a bit more serious than us (and by us i mean me.) i cant even count the number of times i missed class to go snowboarding or the beach. well, things work out the way they do cuz life is like that. waffs brought something special into my life with the most perfect timing. but now what. well...now we've gotta test the theory if love alone is enough. if it is, we're set...if its not, well, heres to hoping it is! *clanks stein with everyone down the communal haus bench*

anyway, just cuz i know the girls are interested...ive attached pics of the swiss-germans. ;) :D :blush: :thup: :thup: drunken pictures, of course...but i wouldnt of had it any other way!

[PirateBooty]

not only do you not know what youre gonna get, but sometimes you hate what you get. like the coconut chocolate. that has got to be the most disgusting part of the box, but, ive tasted its bittersweetness.

just because ive injested coconut, ive gotta live with the fact that i can never say ive never had coconut. sure id love to pretend like it never happend, but the truth is...it did.

i hate coconut and yes my life would be happier if i hadnt had any coconut, but, its a part of me now. in my system. even if it does make me wanna barf :sick:

i can still be happy in life cuz out of the 18 pieces of chocolate in the box, i know ive picked the best one to call my favorite (buttercream w/ sprinkles)! :D

[PirateBooty]

Gosh, where do I begin? You all mean a lot to Waffles. In fact, he’s the reason I met all of you. My dear boyfriend asked me to join the Quill soon after meeting me back in September of last year. When I first joined I remember not feeling like I would fit in. I “lurked” a lot, as you guys would say, for the first month or so. I don’t even think my first post was until Nov. Anyway, I continued to frequent the Quill over the next few months – sometimes daily.

Truthfully, I had quickly made assumptions about everyone; some were quickly transformed, others proved to be true. I never meant to judge anyone here, but nature took her course and I was drawn to some people and repelled from others. I began to find what you all were about. Funny, perverse, creative, sarcastic, honest, egotistical, intelligent, graceless, imaginative, greedy, artistic, devious…so many adjectives can apply to such a large group. Fortunately, the people I found to be the most amazing had many positive adjectives tagged to their names.

At one point, I found that I could express myself here. Except, I really couldn’t express my feelings in fear of being reprimanded by the moderators, especially the one who had it out for me, so I filtered my reflections. All the fun times were true, but if I had my way there would have been a lot more swearing and a lot more honest opinions.

I have to admit; I’ve grown attached to a number of you. I hate to leave because I don’t want any of you to think you weren’t worth staying for. A lot of you did a good job of welcoming me and I’m glad I met the lot of you. However, despite the great parts about the Quill, I just don’t care to indulge in this part of Waffles life anymore. For me, it has become a source of jealousy, doubt, disgust and overall waste of time. I’m really not judging anyone on this site. If I had been a happy, normal, confident person I would not be going through this. I am leaving all of this because saving my relationship with my boyfriend is far more important to me than being negatively influenced by stupid things.

I want to end by thanking you all. You have taught me a few things, directly or indirectly. I've been turned on to writing again. I found myself taking better pictures to hopefully share with you all. I even would make notes about things I wanted to rant about. To your credit, I remind myself to see the importance of having friends from different walks of life. Because of you all, I am changed.


Thanks for the laughs, thoughts, stories and reality,
Jennifer

[PirateBooty]

first off, thank you all for your concern, im sure i will be fine when i get my head on straight.



the point: my farewell mustve been a bit more charged than i'd imagined. im also sorry for making you all doubt that the mods here were nothing but great. i was bitter and angry and not in any mood to be posting...hey, whats the reflection thread for, right???

anyway, sorry to cause confusion. now, get back to what you were doing.

later! (i hope so, anyway) :D

[PirateBooty]

...you all decide to shut the quill down. sheesh!!! some welcome mat!

haha...just kidding! hello everyone! i know im posting in my reflection thread, i guess i wanted to kill 6 birds with two rocks. i dunno. we will see how this goes.

ive just come back from sydney where i spent a wonderful time with waffs. while there i was in touch with lyle (who i, unfortunately, wasnt able to visit) and miss nf (who wanted to continue to extend the welcome wagon for me). thank both of you for being so nice!

i know its a biotch to get to oz from the northern hemisphere, but i seriously suggest everyone try to do it...at least once! HOWEVER, i watched every toilet i flushed to see if the water swirled the other way...and it doesnt! freaking simpsons lied to me! it just sorta gargles down. meh...oh well. oh ya...and they have flush and half-flush..that was neato.

im leaving for japan in less than a month. just thought id stroll on in here to say hello...it wont be a regular thing since im stuck with dial up internet...but who knows..maybe i will be here everyday (TEQ is such an addictive drug).

waffs sends his hellos...hes been under a great deal of pressure with his masters work and home and work and me visiting...but all who know him know that he will be just fine..and you know where to message him :)

well, im gonna get doing laundry now...i hate unpacking after ive been away from home. it really opens your eyes that, alas, youre back to the same 'ol.

ps - check out my new picture...me at the koala park in sydney!

[PirateBooty]

since 36 is divisible by 12 resulting in 3, i will list 3 random factoids:

3 - pasta is best when its al dente

2 - dont drink the water in mexico

1 - chicken in asia can lead to bird flu deaths


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
can someone please tell me what the hell is wrong with this picture???

[PirateBooty]

:furious:
im all about meeting new people and trying to make friends, but, some people dont deserve the friendship i freely give. 99.9% of the people working at my company whove been trained as teachers in uni or whatever, are complete assholes. they talk down to everyone and make everyone feel like a stupid dummy. i dont like many of my coworkers. and it seems the ones i do like are never trained as teachers - coincidence? i think not. anyway, i just wanted to pop in and give my two yen.

later gators.

[PirateBooty]

so in ten months i will be retiring from the nova group...haha. this is a great realisation but, why am i counting down. ive only just begun. *breaks into chorus* ive got a great new friend here. his name is patrick...and hes my homo shopping partner. osaka is famous for lots of things, but one being gloomy bear. now...gloomy bear, although sad, gets into fits of fury quite often. patrick and i will soon visit the gloomy bear hq here in osaka.

i miss someone. i used to talk to this person all the time...for looong periods of time. now theyre too cool for school. but ive gotta news flash for you...you arent. pweeeeaaaaase! all i want is to chat it up every now and again.

ive been taking lots of pictures with my handy phone. i havent posted them all but if you know my myspace account, im sure you can see a great deal of them rotating through there.

i bought a new bike! im super excited. i can get around twice as fast now. and this my friends, is a good thing.

[PirateBooty]

i live in germany. haha. so weird how life takes its turns and throws you out somewhere new. ive got a job (teaching english again...this time to plump german businesspeople) and a boyfriend both here in frankfurt. the weather has been amazing ('cept for the past couple days where we've had scattered showers) and the move has been wild. i dont know if ive ever felt so insignificant, displaced or bewildered in my life! its good though. i like it.

i guess the hardest part about coming to germany as an american (with intentions of working) is that you are on your own. you should a.) have a company sponsor you , or b.) have a good working knowledge of the language. i had/have neither. there are numerous steps one must take when relocating his/her life to deutschland. first, find a job! i found mine online before i got out here and was in contact with them before i booked anything. the good part was that they were expecting me, and i knew they were in fact hiring. the bad thing is, like all language schools in germany, you work as a freelancer (sometimes at very long lenghts) until you are offered a contract. no one wants to be stuck with a deadbeat globetrekker whos just financing his/her european trip. okay, so next, secure housing and get yourself registered with the appropriate "amt," or agency. once you have done that, you can move to step three: obtaining sufficient health/liability/renters insurance...the first is mandatory, the other two are "highly recommended" and what "highly recommended" means is that, if you get it, "i'll nod my head in approval"...and if you don't, "well, i'm the one with the official stamp who says if you can eventually stay or go, so..." alright, yes, get all recommended insurances. check. IF you can manage to get insurance through a german company, your healthcare will be ridiculously comprehensive. for me, i had to get a physical by a german doctor, because my american one that was 3 months old was not sufficient, i had to provide proof of the continuous private insurance i had at home, a dental screening from a german dentist, and a worksheet to be filled out by my employer on what i "actually do" and how much i "actually get paid" even though i stated both on my application. (itll all be worth it, though. i get all dr/dentist/optomitrist/massage therapist/accupuncturist/herbal healer/etc visits and perscriptions paid for. and guess what my friends...your doctor can perscribe a day off from work, a full body massage, a mineral bath soak!) good. right. step four! get a working and residence permit! when you visit this amt, you will be faced with a crowded room of foreigners. lucky for you, americans are treated fairly well and are not looked at suspicously. however, just because youve made it this far, doesnt mean smooth sailing just yet! no. after half a day of running to this office, that cashier, this floor and that desk, you will be asked to wait. 4-6 weeks is was my timeframe and what i hear is the average. unfortunately what this also means is, 4-6 weeks of no legal income! since this amt works with another amt in processing the paperwork, theres always hope that the other will finish quickly and get it to you sooner. once they say everything is go...you get your stamp.

so, i have a lot of time this afternoon since im just waiting on laundry. i figured i would post here to kill some time. now that i have, im sure its about time for the first load to be pinned to the line. toodles!