some peoples minds work in mysterious ways, mine hardly works at all

[supuradam]

so i've finally come down off all of the crazy stuff i've done starting friday night.

it is now wednesday evening around 5:45. i'm not sure if this is a good thing or not.

i now officially have no job :D and i think i'm moving to pittsburgh in a week. because i will have no place to live as of 8/25. pittsburgh seems as good a place as any.

i think girls gone wild is responsible for the way some men choose to treat women. i realized this monday night. because all the little kids who are up at 4 am, see those stupid 30 minute long GGW commercials. the ones with the stupid girls running around naked on the private island "willing to do anything for you" and these kids start thinking, "oh, so that's what girls are for"

the problem with american youth today is they're being raised on GGW, coke, and guns. someone needs to address this issue and do something about it. someone other than me. someone intelligent, with lots of charisma, who can actually get it done. so, no one in our government either.

more later

[supuradam]

:( i've been up for far too long. this is a becoming a way too regular thing.

so i'm walking home this morning, 8ish, and it was a 2 mile walk. it sucked. but i saw this deer, on the side of the road, eatig this bush. and i thought to myself, "my, how much it would suck to be a deer" and this scared me. so, if i ever like... disapper, and all of a sudden some weird animal starts banging on your windows a couple days later, it's me. so smoke that animal up. even if it's some scary thig, like a gnarly alligator, i won't bite you...

my car broke again. same thing that broke when nf and i went to GoTV. sucks because i already owe someone money for repairs, and now i have to pay for more :(

so i'm moving to pittsburgh on the 29th too.... no more jersey. no more internet. but i will have my own apartment with my boy. guess that's better than living at someone elses parents house.

it's 10:15, and i'm ready to go out again. peace

[supuradam]

past few days, i think it's been only a few days since i've been here, have been rather hazy.

coming back from vibes with nf, well, rather going to, my car broke. then it got sorta fixed. then it broke again. and i just finished fixing it. only took about 2 days and $600. and it's not my money. i owe lots of people money. it's rather a good thing i'm moving soon. cause my broke ass can't pay them back. i leave on tuesday. and i won't have internet in pittsburgh. so... that's that.

so i'm looking at my girlfriends bed, and i see a skirt and white shirt and long socks. i think we're doing the schoolgirl thing again. i like that one. one of my favorites.

so many crazy things have happened lately. i really wish i remember what they were. sober-> 2 days and counting.... for another couple hours.

hrmmm....

[supuradam]

suprise, suprise. the moving to pittsburgh thing didn't really work out. well, that because i was only there for about 6 hours, and then i went to california. which, REALLY, didn't work out. (read: spent all my money on illegal substances). last night, my parents paid to have me fly back to their house. cause i was broke. it worked out. only i'm no allowed to leave the state until i get a real job. and get into school. it's rough. but, i don't have to pay for rent or food anymore, so it's not too bad. but i'm hoping they'll just make me get a job. getting into school right now is an unreal dream. i barely graduated like 3 years ago with a 2.15 gpa, and i haven't done dick about education since. so, that'll be a little more difficult. whatever.

[supuradam]

....continued... from a week ago (went back out to the west coast for a few days)

so i have a job now. yes. working for the national wildlife federation......... 's distribution warehouse. 3rd shift. i start monday at 1am. whoopie. that'll be just loads of fun.

president bush is still an idiot. he gets dumber by the day. i just can't understand for the life of me how some people still think that prick can do things... period. he's worthless. the government has failed it's people again. it's time for change. radical change.

john roberts isn't any better. bush may be gone in 3 years. but we'll be stuck with all these young, southern, conservative republicans in the supreme court for a looong time. he's not very good during an interview either. just answer the damn questions.

i'm sorry for all the hurricane katrina victims, but i don't want to see the commercial every 15 seconds. i'm not giving any money. no matter how much air time those stupid things get.

hrmmm... that's all i think.

[supuradam]

fck you i hate you is all she said as she slapped my face and spit beer on me and my pants are falling down. she said, you're a no good, ugly, dumb, stupid punk rocker with a bad haircut and your pants are falling down.

[supuradam]

wow. so it's been a real long time since i've been here. doesn't seem like it. just one long day.

the history channel's scary at night time. all about the apocalypse and heaven and hell and all that. screws with my head. my car's about to fall apart. umm.... i quit another job yesterday. but i got a new one... again. landscaping. digging and planting trees, feeding chickens and stuff. i've had too many jobs this year. and lived in too many places. hrmm...

i think i'm on like my 5th bowl of count chocula. i don't remember the last time i ate. i aquired a new pair of shoes last night. they're blue and yellow and green plaid. they're super sweet.

dissent is the highest form of patriotism

[supuradam]

well hello and goulet.

i got hit by a drunk driver last night. screwed up my car kinda. but i drove off cause i had stuff in the car didn't want cops around. but i only have liability coverage, so i didn't need a report anyways. that poor car. it keeps costing me money. money i don't have. i hate money. money = evil.

point of intoxication at which you should no longer be driving- you stop at a green light and try and wave the person sitting at a red light ahead of you. that'll get you some interesting looks

i think i've finally found out what i want to do in the life thing. that game you play. but now i need to go to college to do it. meh.

halloween's coming up. i need a good costume.... thinking....

[supuradam]

i really want a milkshake. where can i get a milkshake at 1 am... cookie dough i think. hrmm....

[supuradam]

coolest website ever www.wikipedia.org you can find anything. anything i tell you

so i have to drive up to vermont on friday, back on tuesday, and then to north carolina on tuesday.... ugh. i'll be in the damn car for about 19 hours on tuesday. and i have no idea where i'm getting all this gas money from, seeing how i have about $13 in my wallet, and... yeah. $13.

last night i went to subway, and the guy gave me my sub and a bag of 12 cookies for free. it was cool. but i don't like cookies. but it was a nice gesture.

still no idea what to be for halloween. and this is important, damn it. maybe indiana jones. not sure.

and i think i'm due for another job change. i mean, it's been 3 weeks.

oh yeah... psst - the government's lying to you. just keep it on the dl

[supuradam]

ain't life grand

[supuradam]

If mushrooms were an ornately carved chariot pulled by untamed horses, and LSD was a fancy, suped-up sporstcar, DMT would be an elfin-crafted hypersonic anti-grav device, and Ketamine would be a VR headset and bodysuit with a T-1 line into the universal database

[supuradam]

i was working on a story. but my brothers computer crashed, and now it's gone. gone forever. and he just told me this. i didn't even know that i had started a story. 'tis a shame really

but i worked for 11 straight hours today. very proud of myself. did more today than i've done since october 28th. heh.

my car's in great shape. it's registration and inspection expired in october and i'm uninsured until i get that bill in... should probably get that stuff taken care of. or quit driving.... meh...

i got a haircut yesterday too. and got rid of 2 more piercings... hopefully i can get a real job soon. need to start taking this life thing more seriously

~dons a tuxedo and bows~

[supuradam]

i hate my car. it's the biggest pos ever. unfortunately, i've poured too much money into the damn thing to get rid of it. it's been hit maybe 4 times in the past year. the alignments messed up. it needs new tires. tons of body damage. someone stole my fog lights.

but i've done everything in that car. everything and it always come through when i need it too. well, it will always get you to where you're trying to go. coming back... meh. it's also ghetto rigged as hell. it's a lot like the millenium falcon.

i love that car

[supuradam]

love i'm in love i'm in love i'm in love i'm in love i'm in love i'm in love i'm in love i'm in love like a glove like a glove like a glove i'd stick to you

[supuradam]

what a disaster this thanksgiving was....



Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low

[supuradam]

work release: $16 a day
court costs and legal fees: $32,000
knowing that you got off on multiple felony convictions for having an ungodly amount of cocaine in your possession: priceless


united states legal system-0
adam-2

[supuradam]

i'm not sure if it's in bad form to double post in your refections... but... since every post is mine, guess it's alright.



it's really scary how time just slips away. i had planned to be out of my parents house (for the 3rd time) 2 weeks from now.... but, i don't see that happening. i go to work everyday, well, 3 out of 5 days usually, but when you're fked up all day long, you don't ever get stuff done.

it just seems like everyone else is so confident in their lives. they don't ever question anything. i just don't see myself at the age of 30. i mean, i can't be living the same lifestyle i am now (although that would be fking super) but i have no idea what i want to do. or should do. or need to do.

i guess i should get back in school at some point... but i don't feel like it. they say it's an extra $500,000 over your life if you have a college degree. obviously those grads don't know how to hustle. i've made over $1K in a day.... it's just... i think i need religion. maybe it's stilll the whole god thing that's messing with me. the heaven and hell, creation or evolution. is life special and important and do we matter? or are we just insignificant beings who inhabit some backwoods part of space and time and are all alone? politics are also just driving me nuts. i wish i could just.... do something short of murder all the assholes making stupid decisions on capital hill which keep messing up my life. cause jail sucks

and am i the only one who feels like every day in this country is a little more like "1984"?
and i can't believe my tax dollars went to make a sign on I-70W out of baltimore that tells me how far it is to denver, and la. i don't care. that's an asshole sign anways, if i was driving to denver, i don't want to know that it's 1400 miles away prick... 2 minutes down the road "only 1398 miles left... prick"

[supuradam]

Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Lakish..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish..
And what the fuck is up
With lighting all these fucking Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew..
I can't be merry, cuz i'm Hebrew.. on Christmas.

[supuradam]

it's hard to believe it's almost 3 weeks into '06.... i don't know where all that time went.

but hey, guess what... i'm in school now. well, community college... but it's a start. and i've gone to all my lasses so far... of course it's only been a week... but still, for me, that's good