Res Ipsa Loquitor

[Amyrlin]

A-hah!

I have been trying and retrying to find a way to change the title of my reflection thread...canst do that, can I?

so well anyways, tonight i noticed that several others actually have more than 1 reflections thread...heheh. so since i can't change my title, here I am! chadaaa!!! new thread, new title! :o)

goodnight for now quilldom! <hugs all around>

[Amyrlin]

There's this book i've wanted to buy for the longest time but it was rather expensive for something so little.

It costs 335php and it's really thin, so several times even when i had the money, i just couldn't bring myself to buy it though i really really wanted a copy.

So anyways, last sunday afternoon i was out with a friend and we went to the bookstore to check out the sale rack and i saw 3 copies of that particular book and it was down to 30php! it's 305php less!

Imagine how happy i was! heheh.

So now i got me 2 copies of "Letters to a Young Poet" by Rainier Maria Rilke.
color me ecstatic!

[Amyrlin]

Hello all!

i guess it's time for me to say goodbye to all of you.
twas great knowing all you quillers!

anyone who wants to keep in touch with me, my email is white_tower@hotmail.com

thank you, goodnight and goodbye one and all!

love always,

amy

[Amyrlin]

Ahahaha!
stupid! stupid! stupid!

i read sir archely's post and immediately went buhbye to the quill.
yeah, yeah, yeah, i should've read the date...April 1st...but i didn't, duh!

anyways, thanks to CC for emailing me and telling me that it was posted on April fool's day. <hugs CC>

ok, so i got back from a 3day vacation at Boracay Beach on saturday night...
my vacation was horrible...

my bestfriend took her 2yr.old daughter along and Kyla refused to walk much whenever we go out to shop by the beach side, or to go swim, or to eat, whatever.... so me and her mom shasha had to take turns carrying her.

and then we shared a bed, it was a biiig bed but by jove! the little one flips, pushes, and kicks in her sleep so i had to stay on the edge of the bed and sleep on my side trying to avoid the kicking and pushing and flipping....

she had me and shasha back aching, chest aching, arm aching, head aching, every morning.

i got back saturday night and couldn't get up on sunday morning cause all of me was so achy because of that cute little girl.

now i just want to forget our time in Boracay...

[Amyrlin]

<sighssss>

long time...

well, my bestfriend in grad school is now out of the country.
he left two weeks ago. we've been inseparable since the last time i ws in this thread until the hour he left... well... actually we were pretty much inseparable the past year.

and now he's gone... i was missing him already the week before he left. then for a few more days after he left i was missing him bad...

then the past week i was doing really well and actually thought it weird that i didn't miss him anymore. i was expecting to miss him for months after his leave but then
last week til early this evening i don't miss him even just a bit! when i think of him it's like he's just somewhere in town and i feel like i can just get hold of him anytime...

then we chatted after dinner and we were our usual silly selves...laughing and teasing each other and he had his webcam on and i could see him laughing and i was laughing on my end and then when it was time to say goodbye and i saw him wave at me on his webcam i suddenly missed him bigtime then i just started crying like a moron. <sighs>

then he said we can chat for a few minutes more but i didn't want to chat with him anymore.
so i just insisted that we say goodbye already and we were both sad all of a sudden. then he turned off his webcam said goodbye again then we were both out of the chat... <sighs>
i hate it when friends have to go far far away.

at least even though sa'angreal is far away he's just in the country and we chat on sms everynight so i don't miss him too much. arnel is sooo far away now and i guess it just hit me that i won't be seeing him for maybe 2 or 3 years and that really sucks. <sighs>

i'm so tired and sleepy all of a sudden...

goodnight quill. <hugssss>

CC! if you're reading this, THANKS for chatting with me the past several nights. hahahah. that was fun! c u around!

[Amyrlin]

Ok...I've decided that i hate January 1sts.
It's like the most boringest day of every year. Ugh!
I so want to fast forward it but it has a mind of its own and it seems to drag on longer than the rest of the days just to mock me. aaaah!

Sighs...I wish the year can just skip Jan.1 and jump right into Jan.2...
But a good thing actually came out of having to endure Jan.1... I'm actually writing again! I am actually inspired to write and write and write and after I'm done here I think I'm gonna write on my journal til the wee hours of the morning.

I haven't done any journaling in a really loooong time. I stopped writing sometime in February. I dunno what happened...I dunno what it was that made me stop writing when I looove journaling... most of the the past year I just wasn't my usual self, I guess.

Anyhows...I had a pretty good year. It has its ups and downs but I tend to remember the ups more so...yup, it's been a good year.

The last week was extra wonderful coz i get to see most of my childhood friends who've moved away to the capital city. They came flying in one after the other. The girl friends stayed with me so my bedroom was pretty crowded for 5 days. It was fun though...at least i'm not by myself when i stay up til 2 or 3 in the morning. :o)

Weeeeh! It's past midnight here already... It's Jan.2! Finally!

I go celebrate with a cup of coffee now. <hugs to all>


P.S. here's a couple of pics of me and my childhood girl friends. taken at the airport yesterday.

[Amyrlin]

Going home from the mountains today, we passed by a tiny house with 2 little kids sitting by the side of the rough road.

I saw them as soon as we rounded the corner and was reminded of me and my brother when we were little... a tiny smile must have played on my lips right that moment coz the little boy who was about 3 or 4 stared at me in wonder for a few secs and then when the jeep was nearer to them he started grinning at me.

It was the cutest toothy grin and I started laughing and as we passed by them I stuck my head out the window and looked back at him and he started waving at me with the happiest look on his face.

It's amazing how Joy can be passed on in just a few secs.

[Amyrlin]

Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon?

Lumilipas ang panahon
Kabiyak ng ating gunita
Ang mga puno’t halaman
Bakit kailangang lumisan?

Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon?



Sighs... No. I know that full well...
But somehow, sometimes
I still find myself longing...
wishing...

and sleeping it all off in the end. eheh.
Goodnight empty space.

[Amyrlin]

Why is it that when you really, really, REALLY need somebody to talk to and to cheer you up... everybody is nowhere to be seen?

I guess some nights are just meant to be looong and daaaark huh?

Sighs...

[Amyrlin]

Enrollment for the next school year is still going on in school.

Today a 14 yr.old came to enroll.
She's a bit dark and pretty, sweet and gentle girl.
And she has leukemia.

Now I'm wondering how I can possible get through a whole school year having to see her every school day when looking at her makes your heart ache so bad.

Sighs...

[Amyrlin]

Why am I writing here again after a looong time?

Coz as always, when you badly need someone to talk to, everybody seems to disappear!

I need to vent. To a wall. I can't sleep. I need to sleep. I need to stop crying. I'm tired.

My friend will be cremated tomorrow and I'm too far away to visit her wake even just once, dammit!

Yes, I am mad as hell. But mostly I'm just grieving from deep, deep down...



===========

just great...
I read the post before this one which was a stupid move.
I forgot i wrote that one...

Dawna, the pretty, sweet and gentle girl, passed away a few months after school started.

She went to her regular blood transfusion session one school day and was supposed to be back in school the following monday.

She didn't get to come back.

At least we get to visit her wake and attend the memorial service.

Sh!@#%#t.