A mom is born...

[night faerie]

weeeird. There's this little person living in our apartment. It's so surreal. I haven't yet gotten used to the idea that she's here to stay. To think she was inside my body not 10 days ago... it's too strange to ponder for long.

It's strange to be a new mom. It's kind of like being a teenager again. I have no job to report to every day. I'm all sorts of hormonal & crazy mood-swingy. I'm up till dawn almost every day. I am becoming familiar again with the TV schedule for insomniacs, lol.

The bonding thing. I don't get it. Or at least it's not what I expected it to be. I didn't have that moment after the birth or when I held her for the first time where everything changed. I still am feeling pretty much in shock. I don't really feel like that much has changed.

Is it weird that I keep forgetting her name?

[night faerie]

my little one has been keeping me on a very short string these past two days or so. Up all night, insisting on being held even while sleeping, crying for no reason (altho her "pouty face" is adorable -cracks up me & chrono!), eating every hour or two. I have no time for anything else. Plus it's so hard to do things like paying attention and making decisions when you're SO overtired.

Sometimes chrono asks me a question and it's all I can do to just look at him. Plus I haven't been eating or drinking as much as I should. Doc says I have to eat, drink and rest plenty to keep the breast milk quantity up. I can't imagine when I'm supposed to do these things.

People keep telling me I have to talk to her. But what do you say when you're completely exhausted and your audience gives no response beyond blank stare?

[night faerie]

I think it's weird that one of the first questions people keep asking me after the initial "baby info" is: Are you breastfeeding? I mean, to me it feels kind of like a personal question... what business is it of yours what I'm doing with my breasts? I would never think to ask a new mom that question. It would never even occur to me!

[night faerie]

Baby Gwen is finally becoming interactive. She's starting to smile & recognize things (like the bottle, lol) and she's reaching for things. Last Wed she weighed in at 9lbs 4oz, she'd gained a lb per week! She's a little chunk now, lol. It's SO much easier to talk to her now that she seems to respond. She's getting all wide-eyed & fascinated about things. And she's doing that thing where she lies on her back & flails her limbs about happily which is hysterical! She also becomes entranced at nothing... she'll be staring in awe at the corner or the ceiling for 10 minutes at a time, sometimes even smiling & giggling. Chrono thinks she sees faeries.

[night faerie]

OMG baby is soo cute. Today she found her thumb for a moment. She's been searching for it for weeks. She got it & was so happy and then it slipped out. She was PISSED!

So yeah, so far she looks mostly like me with darker blue eyes, but with my dad's nose, which is awesome cause my dad has the best nose in the family. She has chrono's temper and much of his temperment really. She may see invisible faeries but she loves dragons and loves to stare in awe at all his dragon things. She especially loves firey dragons & fire breathing dragons.

She's starting to giggle & coo a lot. She's interested in seeing new things all the time, which is cool but kind of frustrating b/c we're running out of new things to show her. Toys only hold interest for three days or so before they become passe and she wants something new & exciting to hold her interest. Luckily her memory is short so they become new again after a week or so. Hopefully this is the symptom of an active mind & she'll be uber smart. I think it's a good bet with her genes. She's stared actually WATching the TV so we'll have to be careful with that.

OH, so she's got this mobile above the crib with these three white bears. They aren't electronic but you can manually spin them around. She's always liked the white bears but this weekend Chrono called me in to the bedroom to show me how she was giggling at them. He was spinning them and she was grinning & giggling like crazy. She totally forgot we were even there, she was so absorbed with the spinning bears.

So Monday I put her down for a nap & she woke 10 minutes later. I was all like YAY she's sleeping I have time for BREAKFAST and then I hear her wimper. I'm all So I go in and she's all poutyface with the lower lip stuck out & the eyes all about to go teary. I go, "what's the matter, Peanut?" and I give the bears a spin. She INstantly goes grinning. Like full toothless YIPPEE! kind of grin. I was all, 'You little brat! You just wanted someone to come and spin the bears for you." I stood there & spun the bears for 20 minutes while she ignored me completely & just giggled & cooed & kicked her feet excitedly in her little feetsy pajamas and flailed her arms about gleefully. It was hysterical!

Today she got her first vaccinations. She was SOOO good, only cried for like 30 seconds after the shot, then we gave her a bottle & she was all better. I can't believe I have such a good daughter. I never thought I deserved a good child since I was such an awful one. Altho time will still tell I don't think I got really bad till 14 or so.

Oh, and for the record, feetsy pajamas ROCK!!! Cutest Funnest most comfy article of clothing EVER!!!

[night faerie]

My daughter has 3 Halloween costumes.

I personally think this is a bit overkill. One is from her aunt, chrono's sister. One is from my mom's friend, and one is from a good friend of ours, one of Lady Fate's sisters. (yeah, yeah I"ll post pics) My sis in law begged me to dress her up for Halloween. I'm all like... if you really want, she hates getting her clothes changed. I'm not going to dress her up (I don't see the necessity, she'll be 4 months old, she won't care about candy or dress-up) but if you want to... So we're going over Nana's house for dress-up and photo ops. ~sigh~ my poor kid.

Incidentally, I mentioned to Lady Fate, I wonder how old she'll be when I'll get to choose her costumes. She told me (quite wisely, in genuine Fate-ly fashion) that I won't ever get to b/c by the time everyone else stops getting her costumes, she'll be demanding what she wants herself.

[night faerie]

This week, Gwen wants to be a lawyer when she grows up.

And she REally likes Queen. Or at least she loves the Bicycle song.

[night faerie]

this week, my daughter wants to be a doctor. She is also reaching for & grasping things. Oh, and she has a tooth. A-yeah. "normal"ly teething starts somewhere between 4-7 months. She's 2 months & 3 weeks with her first tooth.

[night faerie]

today Ms. Skye has her first headcold. She's all stuffy/runny and cough/sneezy. But she's in surprizingly good spirits nonetheless. Such a good girl.

She also waved today for the first time! Chrono waved at her from across the room & she thought about it, picked up her right arm & waved back! We were so impressed!

[night faerie]

This week, my daughter wants to be a forest ranger / astronaut / chef when she grows up.

She was a cow for Halloween, we'll post a pic when it's uploaded.

Today we are bringing her to the store for the first time. She'll experience the Bed, Bath & Beyond, because we need a Humidifier & we have a million coupons. *cheer4coupons*

[night faerie]

my daughter has a magick thumb. Two of them, actually. Whenever she wishes, she just inserts said thumb into her mouth & it magically transports her to dreamland. If she wakes and makes pouty-face because she doesn't want to be awake, she flails about for a moment as if to say, "Thumb! Where on earth is that blasted thumb!" Then she finds it and after some careful aiming, she is asleep once more.

Also, so cute - Lady Fate told us this (she's the one who watches Gwen while we're working, don't know if you guys knew that) - The baby has just in the past week or so started to realize that Odin (LF & Everhate's little mop of a dog) is actually alive. So Gwen is propped up on one end of the couch & Odin is at his usual spot right below her feet. (Odin likes the baby) So Gwen has this little stuffed pink Unicorn & is holding it when Odin decides he wants the toy. So Odin is trying to take the toy from the baby, & Gwen is kicking Odin and finally Lady Fate had to put her foot down & take the Unicorn away. "If you guys can't play nicely neither of you can have it." LOL!

[night faerie]

Did I ever mention I'm teaching Gwen her vowels? I can't recall. Anyway, I've been giving each letter a week and have focused on the two sounds each letter makes and words that start with that letter. Yes, everyone laughs at me because she's "too young". But I figure it always gives me something to talk to her about and it forces me to seek out a wider range of volcabulary for her to listen to, which I understand is important. Besides, I figure if I do a letter a week, with consonants starting after vowels, it'll give me 6 months of material. Altho I have been remiss in adding on to each letter from the previous week, instead I've kind of ONLY been working on "O" (this week's letter) instead of AEI AND O. So I think before I start the consonants but after "U" I'll do a week of review and cover all 5 vowels at once. Gwen seems to enjoy the lessons.

[night faerie]

The Peanut is a tough critic, very difficult to impress. You show her a new toy, she's far more likely to quirk an eyebrow & give her, "Hmm, interesting" face than to smile. In large groups of people, she's not visibly bothered, not restless or cranky or anything, but she needs some time to warm up before she'll open up & talk or crack any kind of smile. It's hysterical to see people bending over backwards practically making fools of themselves trying to make her smile before she's ready.

She's delighting now, in being able to reach & grab things. She may not even have a use for it once she has it, often it just gets dropped, but she's fascinated by her own ability to bring something to her. She's still fascinated by hands of all kinds. She stares at her own, and sometimes she'll grab yours & stare at it intently. She is an intent kid, very focused on whatever it is that has her interest.

[night faerie]

it's funny how quickly chrono and I went from the middle of our lives back to the beginning again.

[night faerie]

right, sorry, bout that last post. I just mean it was like, we were in the middle of our lives, not young anymore, well into things. Except now we're a brand new family, just starting out. Back at the beginning again. A new life. Make sense?

Ah, the Peanut. She is... amazing. Every time I look into her face she is amazing. She's got a new smile, a wide-open-mouthed smile of awe and wonder. It's terribly infectious. And she's table-walking now. It's HYSTErical b/c she's so tiny and is toddling around. She's 16 lbs now. Just a little Peanut. Strangers keep asking me if she's like 3-4 months old and I"m like, no, 8. Eight months old. I can't believe we have one of these. Especially one as cool as Gwendolyn Skye. ~sigh~ It's a crazy life.