So... I've been thinking about some things a while now, and I would like to get some different opinions. So come forth, ye younge and olde!
Basically, it is in a way motivated by two very different and concrete things;
1: When I lived in Trondheim, I had to cross the main thoroughfare to get to my bus-stop. This road was regulated by a light that, of natural causes, did not favour pedestrians. That didn't matter much to me, there was always a bus going so I was never in any real hurry. What it did do, was force me to stand for a few minutes by this road every time I was going somewhere, which I often was, at very different times, seven days a week. And it was always the same. The road, crammed with traffic. Every hour of every day, traffic, often jammed up a long way. I would stand there, looking at the cars, and it filled me with bad emotions, almost nausea at times. It just felt... wrong.
2: I like hiking and running in forests and mountains, and lately there's been this wonderful area right behind my apartment, and I often go up there. When you go far enough up, all the traces of humanity are so far off the cars look like ants. The tranquility feels good. And the good feeling lasts long, really long.
What these things spurred was an awareness of this feeling of right and wrong within me, and there is a lot of things that evoke them. I know that if I go out for a hike I will feel good (I also know that my body and mind will benefit from it, but it's this weird feeling I'm stuck on right now), but there's another option; a bag of chips and trash tv. I know what that will bring me, and I might not even want the chips nor the tv -still I will choose that last option a lot of the time!. Or between diving into a good book or hitting the refresh button on some random online newspaper, a lot of the time I will choose the option that has the worst outcome for me, even though I will feel bad about it.
Where is the sense in this? If I had a craving for chips/crap then I could understand it, but the actions does not seem to be steered by motivation, at least not all the time. Now, I'm thinking these kind of choices take place continuosly throughout every human life, and so much of the time we choose the option that not only is bad for us, it makes us feel bad as well!
I haven't found a lot of literature on the subject, and the searches so far has yielded scarce returns. I've read a little bit about inherent morality and a right-wrong compass, but that's not exactly what I'm looking for...
There are so many examples; looking at pictures of a factory gushing smoke into the air makes me feel bad, an open area of greens make me feel good -yet I continue to make choices that promotes the factory before the green. Why? Even when I am conscious of the consequences of my choices. Why?
Now, I've included a couple of examples that also are environmental in nature, but that is really besides the point. A friend pointed out that often those "bad" choices are easier and can be fulfilled instantaneously, and while that is true, some times, a lot of the times it is not. I think this branch of thinking brushes up against religion, in a way, and (sadly) against some of the trash literature out there (Why YOU aren't making the right choices) -but I feel there is something else there.
For instance, with the pictures, are the reaction I had solely culturally imparted on me, or do they have a universal effect? I know that anthropologists have found that incest is the only universal taboo humans have, but what about things like this? Culture and socialisation instils in us a clear (at least it should) knowledge about things that are right and wrong, but there is a distinction between knowing and feeling that something is wrong, right?
I don't know yet, but it seems as though there might be some potential here, if these kinds of things exist as more than some sentimental emotions coming to me when I'm deep in exhaustion, that people, being made more aware of what their choices do to them...
(Being more aware of what their choices implicates, now there's a sentence that makes me think about the popular psychology section in the library, but I'm having a little trouble formulating my thoughts at the moment. In fact, I'll head to the mountains for a while)


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