Tossels and thoughts from Amelia

[Amelia]

The scary part of that last story is that I have been there 2 more times and each time the cocktail waitresses remembered me and kept bringing me jello shots.

Sexy Momma is burnt out of the place so I dont think we will be going there for quite awhile.

She really hurt her ankle the other day and alcohol and/or me were not involved. I told her I was the one who gets injured not her. Its a really bad sprain, they put a temp cast on it.

Hoopfest is coming soon and people are getting annoying. We have a 2 night stay minimum on friday and saturday, which confuses the heck out of some people and there are no discounts either which pisses off EVERYBODY! I just had one man ask me if there were any discounts for people who stay here often. Sorry no. he knew it was hoopfest and we are extremely busy, he just wanted special treatment. hanging up on him would have been special treatment!

Thats about it I guess. Just getting annoyed at work, getting nervous about job I applied for and getting drunk with friends.

[Amelia]

so like Anita, I went on vacation but unlike Anita, my vacation went well.

1st day I drove to Everett. I stop at a rest area to pee and a man at the free coffee stand gave me cookies (I donated a dollar) I then realized that I locked my keys in the car! It took awhile to get the tow truck guy out there, the marine convoy I passed caught up with me (which was nice I got to look at them again!) it was cost me $148 to get my keys. I felt like such an idiot! So I get to my parents house and they were suprised to see me so early but they forgot that most of the way is 70 mph. My dad gave me $80 to help pay for the tow truck. My mom gave me a little dessert since my birthday was the next day.

Day 2, My mom took me to IHOP for a birthday breakfast and then I packed up and headed to tacoma to pick my high school friend, Henry and take him and his two boys to Montesano. The ride went well and I got to see his mom and then I drove to Centralia where my sister lives and I spent the night there. She fixed me razor clams and OH MY GOD I was in razor clam nirvana! Soooo good! We drank some beers and watched some T.V. and just relaxed. It was a good birthday.

Day 3: woke up and just lounged around my sisters place then got up and got ready and left for Aberdeen. Made a pitstop in Monte and visited Henry and his family and then left to go get ready at my hotel for the reunion. Hotel was nice and clean. Got ready, took a cab to the reunion. Everybody looked the same, except puffier! I didnt think I would enjoy myself, I thought people would revert back to who they were in high school. I think some people did because there were a few people who did not talk to me at all! I was OK with it, there were people who I avoided too, just because I had nothing to say to them. The undercover cop and his wife had an afterparty at their place and I didnt think I was going to go but I ended up going and seeing the drama unfold which was pretty damn funny! I even got a ride back to my hotel. The guy was hungry and there was a Dennys near my hotel so we ate then he dropped me off. One funny thing was a guy who didnt graduate with us but was with us up until the 11th grade was there so I went up and talked to him, he actually lived in spokane and saw me! I asked him why he didnt come up to me and he said he wasnt totally sure. I wished he did, I had a little crush on him in jr. high. I didnt tell him though. Ah well.

Day 4, woke with a little hangover, not too sever but enough to not get out of the hotel as early as I planned and made Henry text me that I was a loser. He got all my drunk voice mails so I explained what happened sober. There was a picnic so we went and it was OK, not everybody went. I did get a shot glass and it was just a nice goodbye to these people. I dont know if I will ever go to another reunion so I left feeling good about the experience. Especailly since one of the mean ones apologized and another one told me I was funny in high school. When he told me I said "But I hardly ever talked!" He said "I know, but when you did, it was funny." I then asked "Why didnt you laugh?" he replied "well, it took me a minute or two to figure it all out and when I did, I realized it was funny!" So that was good. My friend Henry, I love with all my heart and Im so happy for him. He has a man who loves him and they have two children they adopted and love and he deserves all the happiness he gets. They say they are coming to Spokane in September and I hope its true because I cannot see them enough.

[Amelia]

I got tired so Part 2!

After the picnic I said good bye to Henry and his family and drove to Westport. We use to go there alot when I was a kid, its only an hour away from Monte. I rented a condo for the night and it was right on the beach and I didnt realize how much I missed it! The smell, sounds, the wind, I felt like I was at home. Thats they only way I can describe it. I walked and picked up rocks and sand dollars and then tried to figure out where to eat. I went to a place where I got a coupon and walked into town, which took longer than I thought it would but just listening to the ocean and the foghorn from the lighthouse and feeling the wind on my face and hair and everybody on the trail was very friendly. My waitress at the restaurant I found out went to Monte and was cousins with a really mean bully who was in my class but didnt come to the reunion (and I suprised that nobody was sad he didnt come). Walked back, full and happy.

Day 5. I hate it when places have a check out at 11. I like noon, noon is good. I really want to go back to this place next summer and if not this place then I would be happy with a motel but I just loved the location! Ate more seafood and bought thank you gifts for my cat sitter and took more pictures and walked the ocean one more final time before I left. I also went up the lighthouse (the tallest in WA state, 135 steps) and told them I went up it when I was in the 5th grade for a field trip. I then drove to Everett and of course hit rush hour traffic...no matter where you are on I 5 you hit it. Got to my parents house and they fed me.

Day 6: drove home and took my time and stopped at every rest stop to stretch and take pictures of the scenery. I almost stopped at Snoqualmie Falls but I wanted to get home at a decent time so I didnt. I have been there before and they are beautiful. I got home around 8 and had to call everybody to let them know I got home safe but I had to do it after I got Yule out of my butt, feed and pet him.

I still miss Westport and have dreams about the place, Im either going and excited or leaving and feeling sad.

[Amelia]

as I have mentioned before I signed up for netflix and Im loving it. Im now remembering movies I loved to rent when I was in high school and ordering them. Last night was a great example I watched Hiding Out, with Jon Cryer. I LOVED this movie in high school and I remember why I loved it and Jon Cryer is so cute, isnt he? Anyway, still like it but not as much as i did way back when, mostly i wanted something exciting to happen in my school which was so dull and boring. Then we had the drug bust and while that was exciting Jon Cryer didnt fall in love with me and the undercover cop was kinda ugly.

[Amelia]

if you have been reading my posts of late, I have been talking about Yule and that he is sick.

It was cancer and there was nothing the vet can do, chemo wouldnt make it go away and surgery wasnt even an option.

I had to put him to sleep on friday and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The vet was great because I was so hesitant to do so, he was alert, he ate some, he drank lots of water. The vet gave me the kick in the pants, saying he was in pain and if Yule was his cat he would put him to sleep. So I did. So, so hard. My heart still hurts.

People keep asking if there is anything they can do, I want to say, cure his cancer but it sounds pissy and I dont want to do that. So now I just say let me cry and if I go on a rambling long Yule story, let me do it.

I guess I can say that he is no longer in any pain and yes I did have him for 13 wonderful years. some people are asking me if Im going to get another cat and while I understand why they are asking me that I dont like it. Yeah, I think I will but I need to grieve for him and getting one now would be a bad move.

I donated some money to the aspca at the fair yesterday and Im going to donate some money to the pound where I got Yule in memory of him. I want to send the Vet Staff something as well. They have all been great. I think this will help.

I just cry off and on at wierd times but most everybody has been understanding and supportive. Thank you to the peeps who sent warm thoughts and hopes of recovery. Yule was a beloved cat and Im glad that people understood and those who knew him loved him as well.

[Amelia]

thanks again for the nice messages, yeah they make me cry but its OK. Most of you know that I cry.

I picked up Yule today. His ashes were are in a nice wooden box and the box is in a velvet bag that has "until we meet on the rainbow bridge" stiched on it. That made me cry and I was trying not to since I was in the reception area of the vets office thats full and I didnt want to be seen carrying my dead cats ashes while people are there with sick pets. I broke down in the car.

I still stop to look for him and yesterday I was locking the door when I heard a thump, it must have been from my upstairs neighbor but it sounded like Yule jumping off the bed or perch to come see me and I turned around looking for him. Those are the hardest parts.

Again thanks for the nice messages, they do help. I love you all!

**toussels and hugs**

[Amelia]

I dont like being called stupid or a valley girl or an airhead. I dont like it, even if they are joking. A couple of weeks ago one of the regulars at The Swamp joked about how stupid I was. It made me cry. My friends are all confused about why I was crying. The guy apologized but it seem sincere, it sounded condesending.

When I was younger, I acted the airhead because it made people laugh. I liked to make people laugh, I still do. However, people then started to believe I was an airhead. I then also started to believe that I was stupid since everybody else thought so. It was a cycle. I eventually stopped acting like an airhead, I sometimes feel stupid, like in the Deep Thoughts section, I try not to post because I am afraid that I will come across as a stupid airhead or when people debate I dont offer an opinion, my ex once told me that all I do is say the same thing over and over again and I should basically shut up (one of the reasons why Im so happy we are not married) besides he was going to college and I wasnt (of course he didnt graduate!)

Anyway, Im not stupid and its just a sensitive subject for me. I feel like I have to prove to people Im not a bubble headed airheady cheerleader (I dont like being called a cheerleader either).

[Amelia]

Went to The Swamp on friday and the guy who was mean was there and I was there for maybe 15 minutes and he did another "Amelia is stupid joke"

Im staring at him as if he is insane and start to yell at him because Im so angry with him, I havent seen him since I told him those types of jokes are not funny but hurtful and the first time I see him he makes another one? I decide to just leave because Im upset and Im not going to cry in front of everybody and the night is just not going to get any better if I stay. My friend who is the bartender doesnt even know what the heck is going on and is all confused I just tell her, that hes an asshole. The guy knowing Im really upset goes over to me to apologize and I just tell him to get the hell away from me.

I just dont understand why he would make another one? Im thinking he was trying to act cool infront of his friend and some blonde I havent seen before who was sitting between them. Hopefully the friend and the blonde think hes an ass as I do and I now know that him and I will never go back to whatever sort of friendship we had before.

My friend sent me a text asking what the heck happened so I told her and then she said he feels bad and to tell me hes sorry but you know he apologized for being an ass 3 weeks ago so was he really sorry then or sorry now or is he even sorry at all? Im just going to check to see if hes there before I head over. I dont want to put myself in that situation again and I dont have the energy to even see him.

Saturday was even worse. I went to a hockey game which was fun and great and I lost my voice from cheering but it went downhill pretty quickly after that.

Kinda glad to go back to work.

[Amelia]

as an add on the joke guy at the Swamp thinks hes all clear because he tried to apologize but I yelled at him to go away. He tried to buy me beer but I said no. Hes been there every friday now, its a little annoying but Im getting better at ignoring him.

Imn going to Hawaii. Did I ever mention it? Yeah, Im going to Kuaii on Janurary 3rd for a week. Im very excited. I really cant afford to go but its Bar Wench's birthday and she wanted to go someplace warm. Her parents have a time share in Las Vegas but we were able to switch it to Hawaii and my mother has companion fares for Alaska so we got our tickets cheaper. The only thing that worries me is a rental car, I dont have a credit card only debit so they might hold a buttload of money. Something I need to look into when I get to work tonight.

Im not really excited yet, more stessing about the money part. I will be more excited once I know excactly how much money I will have and the rental car is finalized. Im sure once I get there and am on the beach with a frozen drink in my hand I will be fabo!

[Amelia]

So I leave for Hawaii in 6 days. I figured out the rental car, its a local company that rents our rusted hunks of metal but they accept cash so we decided to do that. I really dont care what the car looks like as long as it gets us where we need to go for the week.

Im nervous, I will be cool once we arrive, get car and get to the hotel in one peice. Once that happens I will calm down.

The next couple of days I will find things for us to do while we are there. I dont want to spend a ton of money to do things but I want to see things, there is a lighthouse there!!!! YAY!!!!!

I might have mentioned that I havent had sex in 2 years....self imposed, thats all over, I took a boy home from the bar. Not really sure why I did it. It was OK, havent been missing much. I also havent seen him since and Im not too concerned about it either. A

[Amelia]

so its 9:30pm and Im at home, getting ready to go to work and the phone rings, I answer it even though I dont recognize the number and its a guys voice and I dont recognize it and I cant understand a word he is saying so I hang up thinking its a wrong number and my phone rings again so I let it go to voice mail, thinking the guy now is going to realize he has the wrong number but then they leave a voice mail so I answer it and guess who it is?

ITS BUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so I hung up on my schnookums, my sweet gaidin. I call him back and aplogize and grovel so he finally forgives me so I get to talk to Bobb, Chrono, Jediwan, Night Fairy and Apoc and then back to Bucky.

It was the best thing ever, and yeah I cried which made Bucky say "My work here is done!" It just made me miss everyone and want to see everyone.

and Bucky I am very sorry I hung up on you, get a better cell phone with better reception!

So I will be gone from the quill for 12 days. I leave for Hawaii on the 3rd and come back on the 11th.

Love you all and will hopefully have good stories to tell you!