Rambling of a fictional character (Truth in fiction)

[Malcor Sylverwood]

This is the brief decription of a tarot card from the deck that I have that I feel...drawn to. Oddly enough, I cut straight to this card four times in a row with a couple of friends watching. For this skeptic, its was an almost unnerving experience.

Anyway the card is from the major arcana in the Mythic Tarot deck. This decks imagery and stories are drawn from Greek mythology. The Hermit in this deck is characterized by Chronos, god of time, a Titan, and Zues's father.

The Hermit: "On a divinatory level, the card of Chronos, the Hermit, augurs a time of aloneness or withdrawal from the extroverted activities of life, so that wisdom or patience may be acquired. There is an oppourtunity to build solid foundations if one is willing to wait. Thus, the Fool at last arrives at maturity, having developed a mind and heart, a firm sense of identity, and finally a deep respect for his own limitations in the great passage of the round of time." -The Mythic Tarot (1986, Simon and Schuster)

OK, enough for now.

~waves~

[26th September 2002 12:43]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

OK...anytime I go to bed either hungry or full, I have strange dreams almost all night. Strange enough to wake me up any number of times, so I usually avoid doing that.

That being said, last night I went to bed full.

Something last night reminded my of an old reoccuring dream I use to have--I don't think I had the dream, but something sparked a memory of it. Its one of the worst dreams I can remember having.

So the dream opens with me asleep in my old bedroom in my parents house. I'm awakened by noises outside. I grab my glasses and very (, very, very, very) cautiously peek through the mini-blinds. Outside my window there are about a half a dozen wolves (this is in Kansas mind, no wolves here). I immeadiately lie back down and pull the covers over my head.

Then, the wolves leap through my window. I can hear them moving around. I can hear them breathing. But, I know that if I lie still enough, if I lie quietly enough they will not notice me and I'll be safe.

OK, that would be bad enough, a staple nightmare. But its worse. For the faint hearted, I suggest you stop reading now. Of course, 'they' would say everyone is probably desensitized to this sort of thing, but thats a conversation for another day.

Anyway, I hear the wolves moving through the house, except for one--I can still hear it breathing, just an arm's length away from my bed. And to keep things simple, I hear Very Bad Things (TM) happening to my family. Then, the wolf left in my room start to make a noise. I realize he's laughing at me, that he's known I'm there the entire time.

At this point, I invariably wake up.

So, there you go. All you amatuer dream analysts can put that in your crack pipe and smoke it.

No more Stephen Kingisms tonite.

~waves~

[30th September 2002 22:07]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Helplessness

Perched upon my ledge
Stashed behind my walls
Watching the scene unfold
Time and time again

Bound by decision
Trapped by fate
Things continue to pass
Time and time again

I've been here before
I'll be here again
The world moves on
Time and time again

Unable to act
Unwilling to try
Everything crumbles to dust
Time and time again

Have I seen the way
My lantern sheds no light
Existance fades to black
Time and time again

Helplessness

[8th October 2002 22:27]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Woke up all cozy this morning before my alarm went off, so I get that peaceful dozing thing going on. Got around and went outside to leave to go to Wichita to meet a buddy of mine--and its FOGGY! Man, I love fog (OK, not so great to drive in, but still). I really don't know what it is about fog... Anyway, so I'm cruising throught the mists and having daydreams about being lost in it (and not alone) So, I meet up with my buddy and we eat and go see 'The Ring'. Good movie, btw...if odd. I also beat him 2-1 in air hockey

~waves~

[21st October 2002 20:31]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

A little story...

So, I stalk off, not in a good mood. I go into the kitchen to get me a glass of milk. As I'm pulling the jug of milk out, I accidently knock a jar of pickles off. The think crashes to the floor and absolutely, completely shattered.

Well, damn.

So, I'm staring at the expanding circle of pickle juice at my feet. Cursing myself and cursing the world.

Then I laugh.

The laugh starts bitter, and turns to a full out belly laugh (I'm pretty sure I woke the household up, sorry folks) as I realize how ridiculous the whole thing is.

So anyway, I feel better. I might just be crazy, but I feel better.

Now, if I cut my foot on a piece of glass from that jar, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be pissed.

hehehe

~waves~

[15th December 2002 22:36]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

I am one of the following:

A) The stupidest person on the face of the planet
B) A person with the gift of prophecy

hehe

For those of you keeping score at home, I stepped a peice of glass from the pickle jar today. Fortunately, it was a small peice and it only wedged intot the side of my foot where I could easily remove it. Serves me right for walking around barefoot.

But, it didn't upset me near as much as I thought it would, so I'm taking that as a GOOD sign.

That is all.

~waves~

[17th December 2002 14:25]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Welcome again, gentle reader.

I'm in a very good mood, all warm and fuzzy. ~hands out warm fuzzies to readers~ And suprisingly enough this post won't be a review of Nemesis or The Two Tower's.

Its a very pleasant night, being Kansas in the middle of December. Had no need for a coat at all. Got to spend a little time with a good friend of mine. Got to chat unexpectedly (twice, maybe thrice depending on how you count it) with another. Got to see two good movies. All well and good.

But, on the way home, something neat happened. I saw the movie in Wichita and I live due east of there. So as I'm driving, I notice flashes of lighting (pretty uncommon in December). Well, the whole way home, this lightning played squarely above the highway. It was as if someone where lighting the path home for my, and I'm very grateful.



Farewell, gentle readed. May a piece of this happiness find you this night, and all the other nights as well.

~bows~

~waves~

[18th December 2002 04:37]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

~yawns~ 'Tis much too early...but I wanted to come record a dream...

[Fall asleep, begin dream]
So, I'm walking along the beach. The sand is nice and warm, comforting. The sea churns and looks dangerous, full of stinging jellyfish. I hear a call from the water, looking out to sea I see you. I wave and continue moving down the beach. You call again, its a siren call, hypnotic, tempting. I move along the beach some more, till I come to a pier. Seeing the opportunity, I walk out on the peir. The pier is old, and a bit creaky, but stable enough. I walk out to the end. And there you are, a magnificent, lovely creature. You smile and call again, asking me to join you in the water. I say that I'm not a swmmer, and it would be best if I stay on the pier. You don't give in, niether do I. You try harder, I point to the jellyfish and shake my head. You say, ah yes, them. They are very lovely aren't they? I agree, but ask if they don't sting. You look at me askance, of course they sting, silly. I ask why you swim with them. You say its your way, and they really are very lovely. You ask again if I'll join you in the sea, insistant. I smile and say I'm allergic. I've noticed now that the current moves you in a large sweeping circle, enjoying our chat though, I pay it no mind. I ask again about the stinging of the jellyfish. You shrug and say there are dolphins too. I ask where, I don't see any. You say they've all gone to deeper waters. I nod mournfully, it would be nice to see a dolphin in these waters. Then you say that there are sharks too. Sharks, I ask. You nod and say you like to pat their bellies and pinch there tails. I gasp, the horror. You tell me its ok, you've been bitten before and survived, and will again. I don't think thats very wise. You shrug, and say that this is where you are. I nod, but don't understand, I never truly understand, and its ok. You say, surely there are lions up there, bears too? I say, maybe, but I've not seen them. You ask me to sit and dangle my feet into the water, I sit, but the jellyfish are still there. You frown and smile at the same time. I notice the current is spinning faster now. You reach out as you float past and touch my leg, giggling. I smile and wait for you to be swept off again. The next time by you do it again, a shake my head and laugh. You call, and on the next pass I reach out my hand. Our hands touch, and though the water must be very cold, you are warm, and soft, and good. I recoil a bit from the shock. You frown and drift away. You call again, and I think I understand so I reach out and we clasp hands...and its good. We laugh and smile and laugh some more. The current tugs at you, and for the first time I see the hazards of being swept away. I check to be sure that I'm steady, and the peir is steady. Now, even though neither of us has let go, you are still being pulled in circles by the current, its grown faster the circle tighter. I frown, but see nothing I can do. I ask if there is anything I can do, and you just say I'm silly, its just the way of things. Well, you must know better than I. The water moves faster and faster. A rumbling noise grows. A whirlpool with a vorex of darkness! You ask if I want to join you in the water, and I shake my head no. I ask if it would be best if you didn't get out of the water, and you smile ruefully, and shake your head no. Helplessness insues. I still have your hand, but I'm not longer sure if I'm keeping you from sinking into the vortex or pushing you along. I sigh. You sigh. We smile. We laugh. We cry. We shake our heads and nod at the same time. I ask where the vorex leads, you say that no one can tell. I say, surely you can see the bottom from the edge. I cannot, you say. I ask what we can do, you smile and say its ok. I ask what you can do, you say sink to the heart of the dark and see where it goes. I say what can I do, you say nothing more, nothing less. Helpless. I try to pull a plank from the peir, but the peir is to steady. I curse the pier. You laugh and smile. And I smile. I cannot save you from the whirlpool. I smile. You say everything is OK. I say everything is OK. Everything is OK. But the vortex beckons you. Am I pulling or am I the vortex. You smile and say you're OK. I nod and smile. You say to sit with you for a while, and I do. The whirlpool worsens. I shake my head and believe everthing is OK and will be OK. But you've almost gone into the heart of the dark. You have gone into the heart of the dark. I do everything I can, I hold on to your hand, and you hold to mine.

[end dream sequence]

~smiles~ If anyone can read through that ramble, I applaud you. Dreams are an odd thing, images and feelings that give you perspective by looking at things in a different way.

Anyway, I'm going to the bathroom and then I'm going back to bed, just so you know

~waves~

[14th January 2003 07:48]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

OH, and before I forget, I want to save this quotable gem

"he's like a cornucopia of stupidity" (name withheld by request)

~chuckles~

~waves again~

[17th February 2003 03:40]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

i was going to post something, but then i didn't.

~sighs~

[edit] Ok, this post is stolen from arch...and not entirely true. I actually did post something here, but I edited it out. ~nods~

[3rd March 2003 18:52]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Sorry for crossposting this, but it deserves a wide audience, IMO.

Wow. What a day. I'm not sure you'll beleive this a part of this story. I'm not sure I beleive it myself. But, I'm getting ahead of myself, so I'll go back to the beginning.

Well, let's see: First the earth cooled. And, then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died, and they turned into oil. And, then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes...er...nevermind that...

OK, I'm driving from my small town to Kansas City for a job interview and to meet Cloric for dinner. On the way, my cousin calls saying she's going to be in the city too, and if I wanted to see 'Dreamcatcher'. So I told her if they wanted to wait till after the interview and dinner, I'd love to. So, I get to the interview, and it goes well--my skills match up extremely well to the position, so it will come down to the competition. After that, I hang out in KC for a while, and them meet Cloric for dinner (Blackened Cajun Chicken Sandwich from TGIFridays--good stuff). This is also good, because I don't get to see Cloric enough, esp that I'm stuck living outside of KC now. Then I go meet up with my cuz and her friend and we see Dreamcatcher. So that's all good. Now, its getting fairly late and I'm driving home and notice an AWESOME moonrise. The moon, even though it wasn't full, was HUGE and as orange as I have EVER seen it. Sweet.

Thats when the weirdness begins.

I'm about to the small town closest to my small town, and I catch up to a semi truck pretty quickly and I realize I was going faster than I should have. Normally I don't speed, and when I do its usually no more than 5mph above. Anyway, shortly after a car catches up behind me.

And the flashing lights start...a cop. ~sighs~

So, I pull over on the shoulder and stop. I mind all my p's and q's...no moving around, no digging for the lisence and stuff, hands on the steering wheel. The cop comes up, and I roll down my window. He asks for my liscence and proof of insurance, which I then provide. He says, "I clocked you back there at 81 in a 65. Did you know you were going that fast?"

I tell the truth, "No, not until I got up to that truck in front of me faster than I thought." And I add a chuckle.

So, he takes the stuff back to his car...then the dreaded waiting...and waiting... heh
FINALLY, he comes back, gives my my stuff back, and hand me a citation and tells me my court date. And even tho I wasn't meaning to, I had broke the law, so I was accepting of that, no big deal. So I thank him, and he goes back to his car.

OK, I pull back onto the road and drive through the small town, making sure I obey EVERYTHING to the letter. I see the cop turn off into a parking lot in town. Now, I'm leaving the town, just getting up to speed on the highway...and a car comes up behind me...so I make room to let him pass...when flashers light up again.

Bloody hell...

So, I pull over again, wondering what I possibly could have done wrong.

The same cop comes up, and says "You know, I've never done this before in my life." And my mind fills in, "Give the same person a two tickets within a minute."

But, instead he says, "You were so nice back there, and I'd been putting up with a lot of shit. So, I just didn't feel right about giving a citation to the nicest guy in the world. I'll eat this one for you."

And I was all like...GEEZ

So...I'm not sure what to think or who/what to thank. Good manners? Luck? Karma? God? Fairy dust?

Well, except for the officer...THANK YOU.

That is all.

-Malcor "Semi-charmed" Sylverwood

[22nd March 2003 02:45]

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Day One, yellowstone trip, 2003
Southeast Kansas to Northcentral Nebraska.

Day started bad. Checked email and such. Bad mood. Stupid father left things undone, one hour delay.

Kansas was very green, the bluegrass giving a slightly bluish tint. Plus hues of white, purple, and yellow from the wildflowers. Saw cows, wild horses, and camels. Sky amazingly blue, puffy white clouds very low, fun to see them skate across the sky.

Met rest of family, picked aunt up from airport. Ate phillly cheesesteak sandwich. good.

Sunset obscured by clouds. Some odd formations. One looked like an alien mother ship and another looked like alien war cruiser. Too many thoughts of Devil's tower, I think. Or maybe just need more vacation.

Plenty of time to think about things, and being away in an unfamiliar place is nice.

No pics. Too much stuff I've seen already. Maybe tomorrow.

End.

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Day Two, yellowstone trip, 2003
Northcentral Nebraska to South Dakota

Alarm. Early. Loud. Hotel shampoo smells funny. Odd that.

Good day so far. Have avoided rain by being in vehicles at the right times.

Sand hills, Nebraska. Rugged looking country, not that much different. More dune like.

Badlands, South Dakota. Serious awesomeness. Took a few pics, try to get tonite.

Black Hills, South Dakota. Mountains and high trees make me clausterphobic. Very beuatiful. Staying in a cabin at Sylvan Lake. Would love vacation here specifically. Tres cool.

Must run, daylight left. Going to lake, then maybe Mt Rushmore or Crazyhorse. More edits later.

K, we just toured the area here. Awesome views. Some wildlife, white tailed deer, mule deer, buffalo, rabbit. Sylvan lake itself is AWESOME. Its by far the highlight of the trip. I'll attach a pic of it.

Now, crashing in the cabin. Got a killer fire going. Tired, lots of climbing/walking clear around the lake.

I feel great. Best I've felt in a while. Just what I needed. I'm just afraid I'll lose it when I get back 'home'.

Anyway, see you tomorrow (hopefully)

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Sylvan Lake

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Day Three, yellowstone trip, 2003
Sylvan Lake, South Dakota to Deadwood, South Dakota

Wow....its so nice to sleep with a fire. The warm soft glow, the warm crackling sound, the warm...er, warmness.

Woke up before alarm, at least didn't have to hear it.

Rough day. Legs tired and sore from hiking around sylvan lake.

Saw Crazyhorse memorial (still being constructed). Meh, its a huge carving. Not my thing.

Took tour of Wind Cave. Very cool, hard on the already sore legs. Liked the cave at Branson, Missouri better. This one has many more tunnels, but lacks the spectacular caverns and formations of other caves.

Saw Mt Rushmore. See Crazyhorse.

Drove around a lot looking at wildlife. Saw mule deer, buffalo, prarie dogs, antelope. Saw young buffalo and prarie dogs. Cute. Saw newborn antelope and mother...very, very, very, very cute.

No pics, nothing real exciting to me, and what there was to take pics of was in bad conditions for the cheap camera I have.

Had the best calzone ever. Deadwood, SD...Miss Kitty's. ~nod~

Hotel in deadwood. Suite. Jacuzi in room. I'm going there right now.

~soaks~