Rambling of a fictional character (Truth in fiction)

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Oh, a quick addition to my last entry. Tests 1 and 2 will be repeated...but there is at least one addition test...I'm pretty sure its coming. Sometime. Someday. I'm not looking forward to that at all. It will be the end all of all the tests. So, I'll wait. And wait. I hate waiting.

~waves~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

OK, adding people into an MSN chat thing without asking first is just bad form...FYI

~scowls~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Guy of Gisbourne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
Sheriff: Because it's DULL, you twit, it'll hurt more!

[Malcor Sylverwood]

"Give me the child. Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen, for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great. You have no power over me."
-Sarah

[Malcor Sylverwood]

oy...not much I hate more than not being able to sleep. I lay there, then just as soon as I can feel sleep just about take me either another thought runs through my head that I'm forced to chase or I roll over...usually against my own wishes. Odd that. Its like my body betrays me. Me: Be still. Body: No ~flop~ Me: ARGH! The thought thing I'm pretty used to, that happens far too often. But, I have been accused, on more than one occasion, by more than one person, of thinking to much. Thinking to much for my own good.

Another rough day on the testing front. Both tests again, I really think I'm slipping. I had to shut down for about an hour. Find a dark corner. Wrap my cloak around me and recharge, as it were. Plus, new confusion...I really can't think of anyway to explain it. Well, thats not true, exactly, but to explain in the same fashion. This is in far too many ways too complicated. But, its the way it has to be. Oh, and test 3...I thought it was about to happen...I could feel my heart pound, its that scary.

Crap...I have to get up in a few hours myself. I have to drive to Emporia and work out some more details for school. I need to get the rest of my books and such. I also have to get an account with the local bank so the school has some place to put my extra loan money. Money I desperately need to pay of (some) of my credit cards.

On the bright side, I might also drive down to El Dorado, and hang out with Bec. With any luck, she'll have internet access, and I can start showing her around. Having her online would be such a boon. She really is my touchstone. I've known her almost my entire life, and all of my life that I can remember. I can't remember anything really before her, certainly not any kind of life, and I can't imagine life without her. Just the sound of her voice recenters my entire universe. It doesn't matter how crazy, or bad, or anything things are...just a simple conversation, and things seem better. Of course, if she does come online...she might see all this. Hmm...odd ~ponders~

Oh well, gentle reader...oh well. ~waves~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

The circle is reuniting...even if in cyberspace. The Hermit, The Magician, and The Star. If I could ever break The Fool of his EverCrack addiction, I'd be a happy camper.

Although, the Hermit is back in more ways than one. He's a tough cookie to resist.

~waves~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

I think at this point I can choose to be the Hermit or have that mantle forced upon me.

Which would you choose, gentle reader?

~sighs and waves~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

SCULLY: Living in the city you forget a lot of things. You know what I was just thinking about, being mugged or hit by a car, It's not until you get back to nature that you realize that EVERYTHING is out to get you. So my father always told me to respect nature, because it has no respect for you.

Scully: You're so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or mysteries, everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology.

[Malcor Sylverwood]

~sigh~

Goodnight, goodnight, and goodnight

[Malcor Sylverwood]

So, yeah...its getting to be a long day. I decided to stay in Emporia until 7 to go to a chem review extra session in hopes of getting caught up in lab. I'm not even sure it'll work...if it doesn't I'll fall behind yet another day. So, yeah...up at 6, out of class at 2, sit around till 7. Fortunately, I have a cousin in town, so I was able to catch her for dinner which killed some time. I finished the book I've been reading. So, here I am...in the cybercafe in the student union.

Note to self: Bring camera to school tomorrow for Bio Lab--field trip to Campus woods.

And nightfairy, if you read this, I did bring my camera that first day, but it was too bloody hot and I was busy trying to figure things out. I'll get some pics as the weather cools...maybe even as the leaves change.

OK, I'll catch you later gentle reader ~waves~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Tired.

But, one thing I want to talk about quickly...driving to school this morning was an adventure. Foggy. At times as foggy as I've ever driven through...out on the highway going maybe 35 and feeling like its too fast...hehe. mmm...eyestrain from trying to see through the fog--even when you know its impossible. Still, it brought to mind some fond memories.

~sighs~

bye bye, gentle reader ~waves~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

"Even when my world was falling apart, you were my constant...my touchstone." -- Mulder
"And you are mine. " -- Scully

[Malcor Sylverwood]

I hate being angry. I hate, hate, hate it! While you, gentle reader, may or may not beleive it...I'm not an angry person. Like my mother, I tend to get hurt and upset before getting mad. And usually when I do finally get pissed...a brief walk or reading for a bit or anything away from the problem and I'm good. Cooled off and ready to actually confront the problem.

~sighs~ I think I've lost my point. Maybe I never ever had one. I guess I'm up at 3am because I'm angry...and that's just making it worse.

Anyway, I'm going to crawl back to bed, and try to catch a few more Z's before my alarm goes off and I have to go drive and sit through calc class. I think I'm more worried about falling asleep in calc class. lol

I use my TV as my alarm clock, btw. It has a wake up timer...and no snooze button. Most times I set it to VH1 so I wake up to music videos.

OK, enough stalling. Goodnight, gentle reader. ~waves~

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Yeah...next day...still pissed. I almost feel sorry for anyone who would cross me at this point...or until I can release this crap.

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Wow...the drive to school this morning was...interesting. The first quarter was great...driving and watching lightning all around me. It wasn't long before I got into the heart of the storm tho. So between the rain reducing the visibility to about 0, the water pooling on the highway, and the near blinding lightning strikes...well, lets just say there was more than one close call.

I swear, this winter with the snow and ice, that drive will be the end of me. Quite possibly literally too.

Let me wish you fair weather, gentle reader

~waves~