The "Help a quiller with their Love Life" Thread

[Apoc]

I do not believe I can give any advice on the subjects brought up, except to say all I do is act myself...no falseness...honesty in my view is the key to a good relationship, it helps get over major problems, the truth can hurt, but it gives strength.

And in my mind, if your not polite...your impolite and if you act like an ass...your an ass, until proven otherwise. Though I do not hold complete judgement until I get to know the person well enough, if they keep acting the fool, I try to see less of them.

Sometimes you just click though, empathy and obvious attraction.

~shrugs and wonders away into the darkness~

[Anita Blake]

about playing games:

i do it, i'm not proud of it and i generally don't mean to but i do.. some of it may be because i'm shy-ish, some may be because i can't help but flirt and i adore male attention.. but ihave a very hard tiime being direct ~sigh~ oh well i'm too mentally lazy that i won't bother to change myself it takes sloo much less work to convince myself i'm perfect the way i am ~grin~

AHH! yeah!!! when guys start flirting and paying attention, it's really hard not to smile and flirt back, even if you don't particularly like them much, or that way, because, ~sigh~ flirting is so much fun, adn it feels so good! But then sometimes you end up flirting with someone you have no intention of doing more than flirting with, and they want more than the flirtation, but then it's all awkward and they think you were toying with them, but you think they were toying with you and it all goes kerflooey!


~just likes to say kerflooey~

[~KA3AK~]

@ flirting in general.

[dark fuschia]

Really wiggster, some people appear to be a lot dumber then they really are.

Amen to that!

And funnily it can go the other way to... I've known many who are not as bright as they seem. And in other characteristics it's so true to. People who present a picture of courage are often cowards. People who present a picture of kindness are often complete tossers in actuality.

The funny thing is alot of these people even have themselves fooled.

[jabbernaut]

DWA??? I am officially *coughmockcough* offended! Is that all we are to you? A brattling group of small-talking individuals, talking about everything small and unimportant? Well, hmph, I say! I Hmph in your general direction. ~sticks nose in air~

LOL ~hugs nf~

You're priceless, luv... and hey, even if we really are just a "brattling group of small-talking individuals," remember I'm part of the group too. hehe

~brattle brattle brattle brattle...~

[jabbernaut]

Okay then, flirting. It's fun! It feels good! ... it can be confusing, and sometimes a bit damaging in my opinion.

I've been told that I'm a big (or maybe the word was "huge") flirt ... and I can definitely understand why one may think so, but honestly I'm never out to flirt for attention's sake. Instead, I'm just a guy who's liberal in giving compliments; if I think you're beautiful, or if I like your new hairstyle, or if you smell great, I'll let you know it. I'm also a hugger, and a bit touchyfeely I suppose (once I know someone). So while all that may come off as flirting to others, for me it's just being honest and real.

My weakness is in receiving flirtation. I'll admit, I'm naturally one of those guys who reads a little too much into things. I'm not so bad about it nowadays, but it used to be, in those days of social and hormonal awkwardness, if you smiled in my direction it meant we were getting married. lol (.., okay, not THAT bad, but you get my point)

This leads to why I said flirting can be damaging. I know I'm not the only guy (and not the worst one either) who doesn't know quite how to receive and interpret flirtation. And should you happen upon the wrong one, he doesn't know where or when to back off, one thing leads to another, "no" no longer means no, and people end up getting hurt, emotionally, mentally, or God forbid even physically.

This is probably the one area of life in which I am the most pessimistic and paranoid. It makes me wince when I see girls I care for lavishing a bit too much female attention on guys they've just met, or guys that "just don't feel right." And it's not a jealousy thing... well, I'll say at least not totally, since I am somewhat the jealous type. But ultimately it's a matter of sincere concern for the welfare of the girls I love. I can't infringe on the choices they make, of course, but I do often offer them just a simple heartfelt appeal: "Please be careful."

And so.... yeah. Flirting. Discuss.

[Amelia]

I like to flirt. I usually dont interpret it as "oooooh the guy wants me" cause to me flirting is innocent. However if you read my reflection page I once started to get interested in a guy who flirted with me but I wont go into the gory details. **waits for applause to stop**

So, flirting good and fun and dont look too much into it.

[satan]

"be careful" .. i've heard that one bf.. ~sigh~

[Anita Blake]

i find there are people i can flirt with, and people i cannot. some people are touchy feely and you can hug them back and you just know it doesn't mean anything more than friendship, but then there are those, those ones you should "be careful" with. i don't hug those people. or i try not to. sometimes with those people, i try to simply not exist, because i know they will interpret every smile wrong, so i generally try to avoid alone-ness with that kind.

also, friendly-flirting can only be done in the presence of many witnesses. if you're alone, it's way too easy to be misinterpreted and go horribly horribly awry.

i like flirting, but find few people who i can just flirt with. so i don't think i do flirt that often.

[Jonboy]

since im a professional ill help jabb.....i havent got a clue.......i basicaly just wander blindly

[dark fuschia]

"Flirting is the gentle art of making the opposite sex feel good about themself."

I think emily dickinson said that. Not sure.

People who think it means more will always get offended me thinks. And that's their problem, not the problem of the flirter. Men and women enjoy eachother whether or not they are hoping to date or not.

[~KA3AK~]

I don't like flirting. I'm a direct guy and I don't have a lot of tact. I'm also not a touchy-feely kind of person. I like my space. I do howerver like to greet people with handshakes. For me its sorft of a tradition. Oh yeah, and sometimes I punch people.

Oh, and about what Anita said, I think I'm pretty safe to be around. If a female friend gets touch-feely with me, I usually just don't respond.

[Alexia]

Flirting. Bah!

[sir archely]

to jabb: i find that people who are "huge" flirts often devalue these compliments by applying them so liberally. i guess if you don't really want it to mean anything. ~shrug~ wendy pointed out someone pointing out that it's gentle, and i'd agree with that.

[epiph]

i used to be a pretty bad flirt, i was always making guys i cared about but not in that way think i liked them more than i did. but enough of that and i got a lot less flirty. also i got a lot more practical and stopped flirting so much...dunno why that happened. but i do enjoy a good random flirtation, with a random coffee shop boy or something, it always makes me feel good about myself. so light flirtation = good, heavy, serious flirtation = bad. flippancy is so amazingly attractive to me.