A strange and random world...

[Lyle]

Hey, hey! My very own reflections thread. I can see bold and wondrous things
happening here. May as well get on with it then.

Me. Its all about me. Here anyway, and that is a beautiful thing. Im enjoying myself-fumbling around the Quill, reading all this interesting and thought provoking stuff. I enjoy all the silliness that is probably inevitable when you get a number of diverse personalities together,also.

Silliness or, as I rather like to call it Madness,is a fairly prominent part of my existence. Without it I'd be a pretty sad sort of character. Kinda dull if you take my meaning.
As long as I can remember Ive been drawn to the ridiculous,the senseless and unproductive. It probably wouldnt be too much of a stretch to say I live for it. And I think that's normal. Or at least common anyway. Most everyone has a version of it. Something they associate with the core of themselves, some attribute or concept that their personalities revolve around,be it conciously or otherwise. Sarcasm's a common one(ominously perhaps)Humour's another one. The funny guy-the class clown. Everyone knows at least one. Intellect. The know-it-all,the class brain. Theres dozens that people know and recognize without even thinking about it and probably far,far more that people dont. I like to think of myself as one of those rare types-A prototype for tomorrows society maybe..heh heh. God forbid! Not even our monumentally screwed up world deserve's that,surely.

I used to believe in god. I dont know what happened. Maybe I still do,I dunno
everything used to be a lot clearer when I was young. I'm still young. Or so I'm told. Nah I dont mean that, I am young! Nineteen's young.~sigh~
Dont feel it though. Not often anyway. Bah! enough of maudlin crap, I do that too much in my head already. Life is pretty good really if you overlook all the dross and trash that constantly strives to mess with you. I'm still young enough to be constantly astounded by how incredible women are. Hopefully this doesnt fade as I get older and less wide-eyed. I dont just mean incredible as in "my god,that woman's got an incredible set of..." or anything like that, though in all fairness thoughts of this nature seem to have taken up permanent residence in my brain for some time now. No, I mean as a gender overall. How much more power they seem to wield than we drooling and bumbling men. How strong and simply intimidating they can be. There've been some pretty frightening moments in my senseless and silliness infested life but I swear to you,some of the most terrifying feature gorgeous women.
I know,I know!What the hell is so terrifying about a beautiful woman? I cant really understand it myself-I damn sure cant explain it but there it is. Maybe it's one of those things you get when your a little older. I dunno.

I want to understand things,you know? When I get to university next year I'll take philosophy and theology as well. Not that I believe this will give me all the answers but maybe I'll have some. Maybe,probably I'll just wind up with more questions but oh well. An unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates said that and I tend to agree with him. I usually do. I've read alot of his stuff,
The Crito,The trial of Socrates and a few others and I have yet to find fault with any of his work. Pretty impressive mind.
I used to read alot but I've kinda slowed down these days. Will have to remedy that. When I was a kid my family never had a t.v.(the only family in the neighberhood to lack one)so my four brothers , two sisters and me used to read for diversion instead. I just assumed that was normal at the time,it wasnt till I started moving around a bit that I saw how very few people of my age group read anything that they didnt have to. Come to think of it I think that might still be the case today! not sure. Even today,though we now have several t.v's and Ps2's and all that you can still find my fifteen,seventeen year old brother's reading at the kitchen table. Or my little sister,instead of going to the party she was invited to,decide not to because she's in the middle of the latest Tom Clancy novel. Weird. I love being part of a large family. There's always someone to argue with. Besides reading,arguments are my family's favourite pastime. We can argue about anything. From dire and important issues like war or politics to the trivial. Like what the colour blue really looks like. Good times.~yawn~I must be off now,to battle with the sandman who selfishly hoards his dreams and refuses to share...

[Lyle]

... a fiery expanding connection takes place. Lights go on inside your head
and you smile. My old friend, the untravelled mile,living breathing:thriving!...

Lion's in the street,lion's in the street
roaming. Dog's in heat,rabid foaming-
the beast caged in the heart of the city.

The body of his mother rotting
in the summer ground,he fled the town.
Away down and 'cross the border he left the
chaos and disorder back there over his shoulder

-The Beast Caged In The Heart Of the City... Jim Morrison..

... Death is warm and the other thing isnt but you've
gotten used to the chill. Sounds and sights keep me
from being grounded and the world keeps me from getting
too happy. Cheers.

[Lyle]

I honestly have nothing better to do with my time than think and type.
I'm comfortable with this,like on Fight Club: yes,these are bruises-bruises from fighting. And yes I'm comfortable with that,I,am enlightened...heh heh

Ive been doing alot of reading you know,on this reflections' thread. Up and down in mass amounts. Learning little tidbits about all ye quillers. A little unexpected how enthralling it all is to me, Im usually incredibly self-absorbed.
hmm. Listening to cypess hills 'hits from the bong' and remembering the good old days. Or more accurately marvelling at the few actual memories I have from ' the good old days '. Yep, youbetcha, I was once a card carrying member of the infamous stoner brotherhood. Ha! I dont know how many of you guys have partaken of the lovely mary-jane, but I used to smoke a goodly amount at least once a week. I got over it eventually as I get over everything eventually. But for a good three/four years I was your generic,everyday smoker-long enough to completely screw up my high school grades. oh well-such is life. Those years werent a complete loss though. I dont want to make it sound like I'm bitter or anything cause I'm not. At the end of the day they were my choices and I paid for them. Fair dinkum as an aussie might say. And I definately got a lot of hilarious (slightly misty and chaotic)memories out of it, made a lot of cracked and wonderful friends and horrified the majority of family. Which is always fun
Argh but after a while the novelty wore off. When I wasnt High I was Low,the crappy kind of low. My health,namely my lungs started to suffer and the dreaded paranoia started to make cameo appearences as well. I figured one day " you know lyle-ya dont even really smoke the good,green gunja for fun or madness anymore. You just smoke cause thats' what stoners do. Your conforming really,to the stereotypical image of a stoner, using the weed as a sustitute for thought. Which was never the point now was it,sonny jim?hmm?"
So basically I gave away my paraphanaelia,my trusty pipe. Dismantled my home made bong of the revolutionary design and informed my peeps of the tragic news. Needless to say they were,to a man,inconsolable. Except I should mention,for young master james. Who being in Australia at the time-indeed for the majority of my affair with the sweet Mary-jane-made it clear he could care less. Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with guy at all,about as sensitive as a circling buzzard he is. And thats that really. Never really fell off the wagon,if you will,except for the odd occasion. Never to the extent of my old ways,though.
For those of you who've never tried it I'd recommend it at least once. With some good friends and in a place you feel comfortable. Uh,that is unless you happen to tend towards depression like myself in which case you should probably refrain. Studies show that small amounts will affect you more than others,go figure. Um, perhaps I should also mention that I in no way advocate the use of drugs in any way shape or form. Despite my previous comments which you most likely misunderstood anyway. heh heh. Yes.

As a very wise man once said "drugs are bad,mmkay".

Except for alcohol, obviously. ~yawns~but that,I feel is another story for another time. Peace.

[Lyle]

I am so very tired. And my life is so very dull.
In fact I may already be asleep and merely dreaming of writing this.

Existence is an odd and vexing thing. I tell my mind to shut off so I can get some vastly overdue shuteye but thinking about not thinking leads inexorably to more thinking. I try harder to persuade my treasonous mind to take a break but this internal dialogue merely inspires more deliberation. Bugger.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that if I were to excrete some mental waste onto paper (or whateva this is.not the point anyway) I would be empty and liable to drift away on oceans of unconciousness. Heres' hoping!
So what is time anyway? could someone enlighten me? In fact I'm open to any enlightenment you guys can dish out. Doesnt have to be about time.
My threshold for gross ignorance is expanding at an impressive rate.
Been thinking alot about spirituality lately. Not religion really,just the spirit thing which is quite different. Havent come to any earth shattering conclusions or anything-just pondering,you know. Wandering,wandering through hopeless night. Death. I think about death too. Not in an alarming or depressing way. Just,well,I dunno. Scenarios and ah, alternate endings if you will. heh heh. Alternate endings. That was pretty classy I reckon. I should write that down.

Love. Love is a fire. It burns you to the bone,then it burns the bone to ash and...(good old Angel) What do I know about love? About as much as I know about anything. Which is to say very little. I need directions for reading diagrams. I need professional help! No what I really need is to get some goddamn sleep,thats what I bloody well ne... ahem. Yes, Love. A powerful force. A reason. Inexplicable in it's splendour,indesribeable in it's power.
Constantly underestimated in it's capacity for destruction. though I have heard it suggested,also,that being in love is bio-chemically no different than consuming large amounts of chocolate. hmm. A point to ponder surely.

Evolution. An old obsession of mine. Matter and energy converging,convulsing
Light and central forces,pulsing. Darkness shed's off it's skin become's her brothers twilight twin. And time,relentless giant beast-devours all from foremost to least. Argh!! Swell old fella on the lake,bends right down to kiss the snake, snakes eyes shine and scales glisten,power mad and power driven.

Um. dunno where all that came from. best not to speculate really.
Screw it. This feels like enough mental waste to me. Good Nite

[Lyle]

Right. right,so last night I wandered down to the local submarine to score me an aristotle,when 'allo 'allo what do I spy with my little eye "live strip show-tonight only". Cor blimey! Never been to one of them things. Best be dippin into the old " Lyle's World Tour " fund. S'for a good cause,after all.

So in I drift,like a particularly aimless piece of garbage,when what's this? aye,
what's this? The distressed looking barmaid is waving me over like she's anxious to share some right vital information with your humble narrator. Acting like the gentleman I was painstakingly raised to be,I strolls over and politely inquired "wot?"
"Let's see it then" she says.
"Lets see what?"I respond innocent like.
"Your I.D mate,your I.D"she scowls in a menacing way. Several options offered themselves at this time and I carefully studied each as they occured to me. All while the barmaid is looking less and less impressed as time wore on. The first option was rather naturally the most appealing to me.
Option #1: Tell the grumpy cow what she can do with her I.D and leave,head held high.
Only thing is that way I should miss out on what the poster on the wall assured me was a once in a lifetime experience. Couldnt very well do that.
Option #2: Smile seductively and begin wooing her in a casanova-like manner.
The idea,of course,being that such a charming young lad like me has no earthly need of photographic and documented proof of age. Nah,course I dont.
Only thing is wooing tends to take some time(specially the way I do it-real romantic and touchy-feely, I am) and I got the feeling that time was not something I had in abundance. Also this particular barmaid was not what I would call " a looker " by any stretch of the imagination and there's a limit to even my legendary low standards. So there goes that option.
Option #3: Just give her the bloody I.D ya ponce!
I opted for number three.

With all that out of the way I proceeded to find a seat from which I was in what I optimistically imagined an ideal spot for this sort of carry-on. A seat which,I should mention,cost your's truly, nigh on fifteen quid! Capitalist Bastards!
So there I am enjoying the show (although admittedly I was quite out of my depth at this point. Where I'm from girls are either very nice and reserved young ladies or easygoing clowns who you can drink the night away with completely at ease. Suffice to say the girls from last night would not fall into either category. I was half-way compelled to leap from my seat and yell "Oi, go and put some clothes on,what if your aged grandmother saw what you just did with that candle? You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself..."
The other half? Well he was cool with it.) when some drunken lout trod on my unoffending shoe and bellowed three inches from my ear "this is f**kn awesome. YEAH!" and so forth. I resisted the urge to go medievil on his redneck ass,when something occured to me. Redneck. Drunken lout. Strippers yeah! no,no wait something...I looked around at my surroundings and saw young bearded neanderthal's, bored looking wino's and some fellow's who should be home washing their dentures not ogling women half their age. If that come to think of it. The more I looked around the harder the lightbulb that was struggling to light up over my inebriated head tried to go. Finally,after no little time I should say,the revelation that had sought to pierce the fog of alcohol as well as my general stupidity, sunk in.
I shouldnt be here. Not really. I suppose this one time shouldnt hurt but it's the principle of the thing,isnt it. The naked female form (Yeah!...sorry) is a sacred thing and this form of entertainment kinda cheapens that. In fact,following that troublesome and mood-killing revelation, another of the wankers reared it's unwanted head. See, see the reason,right you with me, the reason I enjoyed the spectacle of young beautiful women dancing about so much, And I did. A great deal...sorry got distracted for a sec.
Where was I? Oh right the reason. Yes. The reason I enjoyed the show so much is that the naked female form (Woohoo!...sorry) is still special to me in the sense that they are a sight rarely seen by me and so...I guess I appreciate them more. Think about it. I dont care how much you like something,the more you get of it slowly,gradually the less special it is to you.
Less sacred. So eventually you just wind up chasing that something,not because you particularly desire it anymore, merely because you always have.

Bugger. There goes the last vestige of enjoyment I had so I reluctantly got out of my seat. As I was walking out,passed the I.d harridan and the drunken lout, I tried to tell myself that the pleading look one of the dancers was sending my way was purely for the money I might have given her and not for me personally. Oddly enough this was not much of a comfort to me.
I walked out into the cold New Zealand wind and lamented that I had recklessly given my cab fare to some skimpily clad swindler. This night wasnt a compete loss,though. At least I got drunk. Suspending reality,even temporarily, is always a noteworthy event in my world.
As I got into bed and strived for sweet,sweet unconciousness a final image had me shuddering in horror and self-pity. A vision of me in my dotage, waving a note and leering. A thin line of drool oozes out of my gaping, denture filled pie-hole and I whisper in an obscene fashion " C'mere luv"

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.........

Peace.

[Lyle]

I,once again am unable to sleep so...

Though I am undeniably pathetic at this I thought I'd give some spontaneous,rambling 'poetry' a try. I apoligize in advance...

Cold and numb like a victim is,
with eyes so huge and Loud.
She huddles in upon herself and
fades into the crowd.

Minstrels' melody overtakes her,
and she is shaken,stirred and wary.
Seeks familiarity, amidst the fervour
a fragile,frightened fairy. Hush now.

Empty life behind her,noone knows' her name,
silence is her only friend.
Eternal atonement for some unknown shame
her only hope. The End. ~sigh~

that wasnt only crap,it was depressing too. Nice one self.
I know...
This is the end.
Beautiful friend,the end.
Of our elaborate plans,the end.
Of everything that stands,the end
I'll never look into your eyes again.
-jim morrison.

and on that note. Later :broken:

[Lyle]

Miss edith has spoken out of turn. She is a bad example and will be eating no cake today. I left the house at about seven,the first time I'd gotten out all day. I inhaled the air,so cold it was almost sharp and smiled. I was happy you see. Perhaps someone else would not have mentioned this but it is an unusual occurence,this unanticipated...not joy. No. Sort of, I guess relaxing feeling. yeah. As I wandered down the street I examined this new found cheer and decided I knew the cause. It's the night,you know? yeah the night time is My time and I must have known that already. Just hadnt thought about it is all. Other people (one doesnt want to say 'normal people'...actually one probably does. why not be honest for a change)start to wind down just as I'm coming alive. she made me feel human,thats not the kind of thing you just forgive. I'm cool with that. Never was much for company. Kind of a loner I guess. Not in the cool-brooding way-more in the socially inept way. Heh heh
So anyway I was ambling along in my patented confused way when suddenly I realised that,no I wasnt. I,instead of my usual walk which I've been told is that of a particularly lost tourist,was instead walking with purpose. Like I knew where I was going when I had only the urge to walk. No real destination as such. Again I fairly quickly surmised what the cause must be.
People dont watch you walk at night. Oh well I suppose they still watch its just in different ways. Whereas normally I might get looks along the lines of "oh crap,another young hooligan wandering about?Damn" at night I seem to get a rather different vibe..."Christ,dont look at him directly kids'. He might do something wild and violent,"etc. you probably think I'm offended by this and it would be fairly reasonable to assume so. I actually am a little whenever I look back at things like that. Purely because the likelihood of racism (my mother's caucasion and the old man is polynesian. Samoan to be specific. Have I mentioned this before? nevermind) as a motive for their suspicious looks. Racism is top of my list of the worlds most stupid shit. And it's not a short list kiddies ~deep breath~I'm over it. So anyway,yeah, later on it might grate a little but at the time? Ha! I love it. I absolutely adore it.
more than a little juvenile I know but hey you dont actually want to be a grown up do you? What the hell kind of fun would that be. I love how the ladies who pass by in their family vehicle's take quick glances and furiously pretend they were doing no such thing if I catch them. I can practically hear their mental 'eeks!' from the street. I also love how the men who pass by visibly force themselves to stare me down. Like it's a blow to their middle-aged manhood if they avoid my stare. HA!!
and I do stare at night. I dont mean to,personally I think staring is an intensely intrusive thing and by sunlight I'll glance at people(not walk past with my nose in the air like some prima-donna drama queen )then just,you know,watch the scenery or something. But at night I guess I'm more at home,less self concious and I get alot bolder,almost arrogant.
There's a little more swagger in my step,virtually swagger free at any other time,I'm likely to hum tunelessly,kick empty cans along and basically act like I own the place. Yep,I turn into that guy. Only when I'm alone though,I've noticed. When there's others around I'm just plain old me. Smile often and make polite conversation lyle. If you were to see me at night,though,you could be forgiven for being a little put off by me. My body language probably say's things like "sod off" or "yeah look at me. Gaze at your superior" and so forth. I dont think I'll ever apologise for that either. IMO a person needs to bring out their alter-ego every now and then to give the poor guy some air.
I'll bet he's getting crushed under all that political correctness and all those social niceties.
The part of you that wants to shout when you could just speak. The part that eyes other women even though you're well and truly taken. And doesnt care if he's caught either. You all know what your own little voices tell you, I can only speak for myself. Say,as for example your kid brother asks to borrow some dosh. you grumble good-naturedly as you hand it over while somewhere inside a voice is yelling "Get a job,ya lazy git!what am I supposed to use for liqour now? Some shiny f**kn beads? Wanker!"

People generally comment on what a nice guy I am alot and it used to bother me cause I know deep down that I'm not (hey that kinda rhymed.yay me)but
of late I've just let it go. Learned to grow,just tried not to let the nasty show
(yeah,that was on purpose though.so IMO that doesnt constitute a yay me)
This society is pretty much built on manners and politeness and what not so It's not like it's a shameful thing. I'm just saying,you know that little voice that swears alot? That burning fire that makes you rage and mock and laugh.
the nasty you,the sneaky you ,the you that doesnt pay your overdue library fines~tsk tsk~dont ever lose that. Without these things I dont think people would be nearly as interesting. If there wasnt evil in the hearts of each and eveyone of them out there,why, they wouldnt be human. They'd all be angels.
Which is a nice little quote from Angel that I thought kinda fit.
There's a few quotes in here by the by. Just in case you thought I was a shameless quote thief.
I sincerely hope you guy's have enjoyed reading this half as much as I enjoyed writing it. I love this reflections thread in case you havent noticed.
Quotes and all. I shall leave you with another:

I've been going about this all wrong. Weeping,crawling blaming everybody else. If I want her back I just have to be the man I was.
The man she loved. So I'm gonna find her , wherever she is , tie her up
and torture her...until she likes me again.
Loves' a funny thing-Good 'ol spike. My hero.

[Lyle]

Hey there. How are things? Everything going well?
I posted this song on the song thread thing to, you know try to get it out of my system. Alas it doesnt seem to have worked. I still hear it wherever I go or whatever I'm doing, this happens alot with me and music. Oh well.
This past week has been...unpleasant for me. I had previously set up an appointment with a dental surgeon, some time ago. I barely remember doing it. Then out of nowhere comes doomsday. You see I'm one of those who sweats at the thought of a filling (though strangely this hasnt prevented me from acquiring quite a collection) ,the foul tasting yet oh-so-necessary anasthetic, the perpetually smiling dental assistants who always,in my opinion are far too pleased with proceedings. And, oh yes, that bloody drill.
It's not even the feel of it really, though I could admittedly do without it.
It's that demonic noise , you know...DDZZZZZZZTT!!. Aaarrghh!! heh heh
seriously though , not a fan of the whole dental thing. Having said that I was more than a little concerned about this upcoming surgery. Just before the surgeon was about to inject me with some friendly painkiller stuff , I grasped his arm and urgently told him the old Ramones line ' I wanna be sedated '.
The nice old man then proceeded to tell me the price of being sedated. I took hold of my terror and choked it till it died. Or at least until it quit screaming at me to run like hell. And now , four wisdom teeth later here I type
a sadder and much wiser me. Oh the things I have learned. Aside from that not much has really been happening. Or , more accurately put , not much that I've noticed has been happening. Quite a different thing really. My old man has been telling me that I take things too easy , that I should take more of an active role in my life instead of merely watching it all with a certain grand indifference. I think he might have a point. We happened to be talking about my plans to attend Otago University next year when he said and I quote "What bloody plans? You've told everyone your going and have'nt
done a thing since!" again I think perhaps he has a point. It's a little disconcerting to hear good common sense out of someone like my father. I
have to fight the urge to dismiss anything he says. Or my mother for that matter. Dont get me wrong I've always had a good relationship with both of my very pig-headed parents but lately , I dunno they've started to make me...itch. You know? Probably fairly standard teenage stuff. Hey yeah this is my last year of being a teenager! Next year I will be a full fledged adult. Whatever that means...bugger. I like my youthful lack of responsibility and carefree lifestyle. Stupid time and nature conspiring against me. Who do we speak to about this? I know maybe next time I feel time about to throw me another life-altering experience I'll just pull a haha! Cool. These are going to get a lot of use down my neck of the woods. Well enough about me , how's your world? Still shiny?

[Lyle]

Does anyone listen to Tori Amos? I'd heard of her and that but never actually sat and listened to her material. I've decided to become a fan. I think james had tried to show me the light previously but I'm not sure. I generally mentally wander whenever james starts to speak. A custom that's lasted more than a decade that one.
Hmm. I feel kinda weird. Like , I dunno. Abstract , I guess. I stayed up way too late last night and was awoken by redneck neighbours far too early. Maybe that's whats behind my odd state of mind. I should probably eat something...nah. Ha ha , it's cool how I'm existing right now. In the very good book which I recommend for everyone , Good Omens , in the author's
preface thing , it mentions that the book (which was written by both Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman) was created in the few hours of the day that both authors were awake. Pratchett rising early and retiring early while Gaiman stayed up most of the night and got up early afternoon. James would be Pratchett with his revolutionary work in the field of bovine management.
And myself being Gaiman with my...well my...various things which we dont need to get into right now. Oh I have alot going on. Youbetcha. ~whistles in an innocent fashion~. Ok I got nothing.
Thats cool though. In a few months my long and wonderfully dull reprieve will be shattered by the onset of gainful employment ~shudder~ see I work at a local freezing works which is blessedly seasonal. A blessing for me anyway. Some of my older co-workers would probably disagree. The pay's good and you dont need to be very smart. Two things which endear the otherwise painfully boring work to me. What can I say? I'm crass and shallow. I'm comfortable with who I am. Or at least I will be as soon as I find out who that is. I expect this will happen any day now. Hey there's something I've never used. Hang on. haha! Yes! hmm , now to think of things that deserve killing...er , how about the whole global warming thing. Hmm?
Comments? Suggestions , maybe? Nevermind. What about corruption of any kind...oh , except for the enjoyable kinds. Right then. Also you could in a fashion commonly used by Heh heh. But it is wrong to kill. Keep this in mind so you dont wear a when you cause that's just weird. prejudice and evil satanic , monolothic governments whose sole preoccupation is the control of all men. And women. This is implied. Bloody governments. Boo! Hiss! lets all revert to our primal roots , how bout it? We'll become roaming mad and foaming creatures again. Wild , untamed beasts again. Destroy civilization and it's mother , technology. Destroy the old order and return to an older. No taxes. No injustice. No pain.
Only the seething drive of an animal , inherent in all of us. The drive to hunt and kill . The passion that modern life has in it's clutches and is slowly strangling to an agonizing , terrible death. I can kinda see it , you know.
An entire planet being reshaped , torn down. Great clouds of dust billowing up to the unclean , poisoned heavens. The skies we scarred. The seas we desecrated. The earth we violated. We have time to fix it all though. There's always time if you know how to use it. A global movement , which crosses over all cultural boundaries and frees the maligned human spirit. Back To The Primitive. It's a nice thought. To me anyway. I am a little weird after all.
I kinda got distracted there for a second. What was I talking about? Oh right
redneck neighbours who wake me far too early. Yep. Cut them down like wheat. Surely that reason to take human life is no more ridiculous than any other. Lyle has Judged thee and found thee wanting. So there.
My time on this post has already gone on far too long so I shall wrap this up.
Wash regularly , Be polite to your elders , Sit up straight , Eat right , Excersise regularly , Dont watch so much television and basically do whatever anyone tells you to. TTFN.
Just one more thing-It's been emotional.

[Lyle]

I was walking through the park late at night , as I often do. The sky was filled with black clouds , only a rare star shining through here and there. I walked silently trying not to alert any potential threat to my presence. It was cold , colder than usual and there was a thick layer of fog further obscuring my vision. I shivered , even clothed as I was in my heavy jacket. My heart was beating loud and fast as though trying to compensate for the chill , trying to keep me warm. I turned from the familiar path and headed into the dense foliage. I knew this path well , having walked it often since childhood. I knew that keeping to the path it would take longer to get home so I pushed passed bushes and small trees in the twilight. Trying to find my way. It was even darker amidst the shrubbery , everything seemed to have changed from the familiar to the foreign.
I was lost. My breath was misting in front of me as I pushed on. After crouching beneath a particularly odd looking tree branch I found myself in a clearing. A few convenient shafts of moonlight illuminated the circular space in which I was now , inexplicably standing. I leaned my shoulders against the branch and tried to catch my breath. It had been a while since I last lost my way. I found it oddly exciting , an escape from the mundane. A break from tradition. As I quieted and was preparing to continue on my way I realised I could see someone not far from where I was. Alarmed I prepared to fight or flee , whichever seemed most prudent. It was then that the half moon must have rid itself of , still more clouds because everything beceme a little brighter. At first what I saw didnt make any sense , at least no sort of sense that I had previously encountered. There was indeed what looked like a man not three meters from where I stood. Only he seemed to be buried in the ground up to his waist. Half convinced that I must be losing my grip on reality
I tentatively called out to him "Hey...are you alright man?". The man jerked as if struck by something. " Who...who's there? " he asked , clearly shaken.
I walked forward a little so he could see there was no need for alarm.
" No! no dont come any closer " he cried " the ground here's like...like quicksand or something! ". I quickly stepped back a pace , the soil still blessedly firm beneath my feet. " Quicksand? " I looked more intently at his waist but in the shadows I could'nt see anything. " Are you sure , maybe you just slipped in some , like mud or something " I said. I still could'nt really make out his features but I could tell from his rough voice that he was older than I was. " Everytime I move I sink a little. I dont think it's mud ". That didn't sound like mud to me either. " Dont worry , I'll get a branch or something " I assured him. Crouching down , I started to move around in the bush looking for something I could use. I couldn't see the guy anymore from where I was but I yelled out to him so I could find my way back " So were you just passing through when this happened or what ". I swore under my breath as I grasped some thorny thing. Bugger. " I dont really remember , I had a bottle or two after the game ," he yelled back " I dont even remember coming to this bloody park ". I shook my head silently. Some people , I ask you. Walk about off your tree , and what do you suppose will happen. Good for this guy that I'm along to save the day. Eureka! My hand closed around a solid branch that was long enough for my pupose. I yelled at my new drunken friend so I could follow his voice when he responded. " What's your name anyway ," I asked " I should know if I'm gonna save your life ," jokingly now " you know for the newspaper reports and that ". He laughed and I turned to the left and inched forward. God , it was dark. I wondered at the strange events that were unfolding around me. Usually I would be unsure or indecisive but it was as if the urgency of this situation had washed away any doubt in my mind. I knew with perfect clarity what I had to do.
" The names Tommy ," he yelled " what's yours?". The clearing must have been close because he sounded quite near now. Finally I ducked under the same branch as before and there he was. " Right let's get on with the rescuing then ," I said " say you wouldn't know any beautiful young women you could persuade to walk through here would you? " I asked as I walked as close as I thought safe. " No offense or anything , it's just this would be alot more fun if you were , you know young pretty and available " I lifted up the heavy branch and started to inch one end of it over to him , while at the same time making sure to keep a firm grip on my end , as well as a steady foothold. I aimed the branch at his chest area and pushed it a little closer.
The branch was starting to get heavy too but I grimly held it steady. " Well I'm available but I dunno about the first two " Tommy said.
"Hey , dont make me laugh while I'm holding this thing " I said , trying to keep the branch steady. A moonbeam was shining directly on Tommy's face now.
He certainly wasn't lying about not being pretty. The branch was in his reach now. I flexed the aching muscles in my shoulders. This wasn't going to be easy. " Thanks for this , friend " Tommy said. He started to move an arm up to meet his ticket home. Just as his fingers' touched the wood I pulled the branch back sharply and drove it forward. The end snapped with the force and Tommy was driven back and over onto his back. He surged back to his feet and immediately begun to sink. " What the-!? " I smashed the branch into his face and he fell again. The quicksand was up to his shoulders now. I over-ruled my protesting muscles and swung again , this time vertically and the hard wood bounced off of his skull. I dropped the branch and watched the top of Tommy's head go under. " Dont mention it " I said , breathing hard.
After a minute or two I turned and crouched under the branch before making my way out of the bush. I didnt dawdle either. I had a life to get back to after all. Unlike Tommy. Moron...

[Lyle]

Imagine having huge angelic wings sprouting out of your shoulder blades.
And , and fingers that ended in claws or talons maybe , yeah.
Imagine breathing fire. Searing all before you with , like vast waves of flame.
That would be cool. Hey! Imagine living for hundreds of years like an...um a
vampire. yeah! Imagine being a vampire! No qualms about just , like draining the life from some poor , dumb bastard-ha! and you could , if you wanted to ,
turn some other people as well. Or not. Madness absolute madness.
Imagine owning the entire world and then selling it for a plate of chocolate-chip muffins. That would be something to write home about.
Wait wait , Imagine having some totally out there super powers man! Like the X-men or something you know... " setting things on fire with my sizzling eye beams "...or super strength and speed or...nice. Imagine going completely sack-o-hammers , mate ,like 100% crazy. Seeing things and hearing things. Being completely , like elsewhere man. That would be massive...
I wish real life wasn't so...well...real all the time.
Dreaming is fun. It's the waking up that ruins my day...just imagine...

[Lyle]

This is the post that doesn't end it just goes on and on my friend. Some bugger started typing it not knowing what it was and he'll continue typing it forever just because This is the post that doesn't end it just goes on and on my friend. Some bugger started typing it not knowing what it was and he'll continue typing it forever just because This is the post that doesn't end it just goes on and on my friend. Some bugger started typing it not knowing what it was and he'll continue typing it forever just because This is the post that doesn't end it just goes on and on my friend. Some bugger started typing it not knowing what it was and he'll continue typing it forever just because...

[Lyle]

I am way, the truth and the light. Hear my words and be inspired.
Or at the very least mildly irritated.

la la la la la la la la la la la lala la la la la la la lala...toodles.

[Lyle]

So-here we are.
I don't really have much to say. Wait, scratch that. What I mean is I don't
have many relevant things to say. I've always got something to gab about.
gab blab hoohaa. etc, etc.

I shall endeavour to make this post less self indulgent than my others. Purely for the sake of variety, of course. I have nothing against self indulgence.
In fact it could well be my raison detre. Is that spelt right? nevermind.
Time goes by so quickly. One second you're but a wee nipper sitting at your mothers' feet, believing everything she says with the absolute certainty of the young. Next second your explaining to her why you have to be at this party. (which incidentally does'nt turn out to be that mind-altering) And the second after that your puking your guts out in some alley, drunkenly wondering why your mother has begun looking at you that way. Kind of sad, sort of angry. As if you've done something wrong. Of course it never occurs to you that you actually caused this new sadness in your precious, beautiful life-giver. Nah of course not. Must be one of the others. You'll give them a good talking to at the earliest opportunity. Life is good. Filled with loud, hilarious friends and crazy wacked-out happenings. You know deep down that none of your booze-buddies really cares about you or even knows who you are really. But thats alright. Lifes' about good times and laughter, none of that introspective crap. Just bring you down that will. Then again you don't laugh all that much anymore and when you do it sounds forced.
A little too loud. Noone notices surely. You've started to avoid your family.
None of them really get you anymore. It's like they've all gone and...changed.
Thats a bit sad but you've got your own life to live after all. Things are Ok.
You hardly ever laugh anymore unless your pissed now. Things seem so much...easier...when your drunk. No worries, you know? Your little brothers' started to dress like you a bit. Started to talk like you and act like you as well. He's a good kid. Not too bright though, getting kicked out of school like that. Still, you live and learn right. Your mother seems permanently angry at you these days. It would be easier if she would yell or swear or...something.
But she just looks at you. You hope everythings all right with her. You remind yourself to ask her that one day. Life is slow. Everything you do seems familiar, like you've already seen and done it all. You just keep doing the same things though. I mean your nearly twenty! Way too late to change now.
Even your favourite pastime-drinking-seems to be getting old now. You Idly contemplate trying something else. You know, a bit of variety or whatever.
Nah who are you kidding!? Only losers do drugs. Besides drinking aint so bad.
You just need to get back in the swing of things, remember the old days. You try to contact some old friends, talk about old times and that. Everyones' really polite. They never used to be. It's a stiff sort of politeness. Like they're pissed at you or something. Well ppft. Who needs them anyway? You got new friends. Like, like well you'll remember their names eventually. Not important anyway. They understand you. You all speak the same language.
Your brother seems moody. Very...grim..for someone his age. Ha! probably girl-trouble. Yeah thats probably it. Things are pretty average. Nothing special or anything. HoHum. Where's that whisky?...
You wake up one morning in a strange place. Looking around, you don't understand how you came to be here. Talking to your parents is like talking to strangers. Lots of polite small talk and zero eye contact. None.
Your kid brother, your goofy laughing kid brother is a surly uncommunicative bastard. The things he says to your mother! Where did all my friends go?
The friends I used to share my unrealistic dreams with. The friends I used to have silly, pointless conversations with and pretend that we were the first to have them. They're still there of course. They're just...different. Around you anyway. And where did all these empty bottles come from? All piled up under your bed and stacked on your windowsill. You did'nt drink all those, did you?

Jesus, what is this? Where did everything you used to know go?
Time goes by so very fast...Who am I?

[Lyle]

breathe. breathe in the air. it's not so hard to try and care. we all live in the same hotel. we all make the same mistakes and we all have to share. why are we the way we are? have to feel that it's not real and we are...plead. plead with me now. there has to be a way to make me see. why where and how is what I laugh up into the endless gap of constellations; saw, all the deeds and unclean greed that springs from feelings raw. don't be afraid to care. stick around and wait and see. it's not so bad. gotta feel that this is real. what is real? am I real?

sing the songs you like to sing and we will watch your words. watch to see them fly. with purple stars and talking cars there is no time to cry. kiss the girl with golden curls and pull her from the flames. we're all the same person only with different names. my how you've grown in so short a time-your years are just as long as mine. it's nice to see. nice to see. all the people who feel like me. I wonder how we came about and if it matters in the end. wonder if our hearts will mend in time for the show. I want to sell my soul to see if there is a hell. would take the devil by his hand and wish him well. wish me well. blue. daughter your eyes are just like mine, I watch them just to pass the time and hope you live till then. bring the light and flower show to ask the people what they know and ask the people what they know. Breathe breathe in the air. watch swirling suns and quiet black fill the air. screaming teens and older dreams fill up all the air. the demon-seed and angels bleed all across our air. slipping,now all the way with colour and sound to take me down, please keep me down. I wanna go all the way. Down. through the vast...

Still here on my unicorn, frolicing through the surf. looking for the maiden and her crone. tiny men whisper to me, telling me the secret ways. it's all connected. it's all a maze. look at life through this purple haze. purple smoke and golden light. My how time flies-on angel wings and turbo speed. winging high above my head.
Still here, still singing. have to want to need to. dance with me upon their graves and know deep down that jesus saves, saves the day and all his brothers. be they mad or sad or crazed. worlds apart and side by side, swimming through this endless tide. I hope you all enjoyed the ride..
are we still friends?