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Is This Real Life?

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...Or is this just fantasy?

You know, I never much fancied myself to be a "cool" person. No. Even when I was being a huge jerk in high school and making fun of some people, I was still well aware just how far from cool I was myself. Or, even in the last year... I've not thought I was cool. I thought a lot of really cool things happened to me. But I didn't necessarily think it was any indication of my own personal amount of coolness. I've pretty much thought of myself as just a really lucky fan girl. Most of the others have been far younger (and far more hysterical), far older, or far skankier than me. They've all stood out. But, I am normal(ish). I've been the right age to get into things, I've worn the right amount of clothes to look fine but not like I was trying too hard, and I've shown just the right amount of love for the band vs. love for all music. I've been myself, my average, normal, slightly quirky and awkward, but still recently unshy self. And that self has always been very, very far from cool.

This week, though...this week I've felt a spike in my cool-dar. It started on Tuesday with my class presentation. I stood in a room in front of 20ish other people with my three teammates and gave a pretty damn good presentation about a magazine for hipsters (people far cooler than me). Not only did I give a presentation, but I was pretty freaking funny, too. I spewed out some of my ideas with sass, I made fun of myself, my teammates and the hipsters we were trying to attract and I got the only verbal post-presentation compliment of the day. And it wasn't from the prof. Then, there was that whole "need to get a press pass" business. I tweeted about it. I tweet about everything. I tagged one of the performers in my tweet and said something about "I wonder if I could convince him to put me on his list." It was a joke. I didn't think he'd read it, much less go for it. Alas, a few hours later I was told I'd be put on the list. THE LIST.

In the last year, a lot of things have happened to me. Being told about secret shows makes a girl feel special. Showing up to a gig WITH the performer (no matter how non-famous he is) still makes my cheeks turn red in giddy embarrassment. The thrill of being pulled through a backdoor is amazing. Stumbling down the street back toward a bus at 2am is surreal. And waking up laughing in an overcrowded bed is unforgettable.

But there's something about knowing that my full name is on a list in some office somewhere that makes me feel a little more, well, cool.

Because it is cool! And, you know, I think I may actually be cool.

Or, well, I'm at least cooler than I was in high school.

Whatever you do, though...don't pinch me. If this is just a dream, I don't want to wake up.

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Updated June 2nd, 2011 at 23:15 by AquaFizz (I can't spell.)



  1. Eyreplenh's Avatar

    Of, and if audiodaughter has aquired a mysterious new follower, it's just me
  2. AquaFizz's Avatar
    Wait! My blog or my twitter?! I don't see you! Where are you?! I want to follow you, too!
  3. Eyreplenh's Avatar
    The blog. And I'm not sure where you might see me. I chose to follow publicly, so it should be there somewhere. Never really took the time to figure out the details of blogspot, but... If you find me there, you should be able to visit my blog to -of course, to you it will be pretty much jibberish as it's in norwegian, but you're welcome to try!


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